Skip to main content

Day 19 - Your Biggest Regret in Life

Wow, in a long life like mine, there are sure to be hundreds of thousands of them.  There is probably one or two a day.  I know of a few; not going to college, getting into debt, more family time, more attention to my kids when they were little, getting pregnant and married much too young.  There are so many things I could have changed; but, had I changed them would something be different?  Would one of my kids not be here? Would Ted not be here?  I don't think I would like to take that chance. But, that doesn't mean I don't have regrets.

I think the biggest regret I have in life is one that I wish I could have or would have changed so long ago.  I grew up in a time where life was meat and potatoes.  It was what we ate.  I am not saying it wasn't healthy, because it was - except the saturated fat that everything was cooked and fried in and the ratio of fat to lean.  However, things were probably portioned a bit better than they have been in my life.  But, I also was less than 100 pounds when I got pregnant with Crystal and skin and bones - I could eat an entire medium Pizza Hut pizza by myself and not even move a pound.  However, I would go days without eating a thing - and not really notice that I hadn't eaten until I would get light headed and then have to think about the last time I had eaten.  I would go days living on orange soda or cola.

I passed along alot of that unhealthiness to my own family, my children.  When I cooked, I cooked with Crisco shortening.  I bought hamburger by the bulk and it was the fattiest of fat.  We ate desserts - a lot of desserts.  We had a lot of snack foods around - Oreos, potato chips and lots of other crap.  And we ate fast food - a lot of fast food.  Vegetables consisted of corn or peas - not much else.  If we had a salad, it was dripping in full fat dressing.

When I was suddenly single for a couple of years, my sister invited me to join Weight Watchers with her.  I knew I was fat - but, I had absolutely no idea about nutrition, how to read a label or how any of that worked.  I had absolutely no clue.  The problem was, I was doing the same thing to my kids.  When I went to Weight Watchers, I found out about portions and fat and fiber and drinking water.  My knowledge has evolved from reading stuff on the internet and books.  I lost a lot of weight and I kept it off for a long time.  Yeah, I know I am fat again - but, at least I am knowledgeable.  However, I am hoping my journey has enabled my kids to lead healthier lives.  I worry about them alot.  I want them to alter their lifestyles from what they learned when they were little and think about what that crap will do to them if they don't pay attention.  To my kids:  Use the knowledge to live a better life!!!

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

CoCo's Journey - Mortality Reality

This week has been one for the books.  There has been some good things, not so good things and more.  I will explain. Last Saturday, my daughter and I drove to Idaho Falls.  We went to visit my bonus daughter and her family.  I wasn't feeling great.  But I wasn't feeling horrible.  By the time I got home, I had a lot of swelling.  I have been dealing with that for a few months.  I had started to see a specialist about my liver and my pancreas.  I had recently started a medication, it is a very pricey medication, but it's supposed to help me break down calories and nutrients so that my body absorbs them.  Even though I eat, my body was just shedding the nutrients and food I was eating and making it so I was not gaining weight.  I was 95 pounds.  And nothing I did would gain weight.  But I've gained 20 pounds over the last few months.  My clothes were uncomfortable.  But, I don't know if it's just the water retention or if the medication was helping me get that nu

CoCo's Journey - TPN Me!!

 I just decided to do another post after spending my first night in my own bed with my new sexy bed partner.  TPN. TPN - Total Parenteral Nutrition.  Calories, vitamins, minerals and all that delivered through an intravenous line. PICC line -  A little stronger and more durable than a regular IV line.  It's inserted, via ultrasound, into a vein.  Mine is in my upper right arm.   IV Pump - an electrical system that pumps the IV fluid from my bag into my veins.   In essence, I have an IV bag, when first attached to my PICC line, it probably weighs 15 to 20 pounds.  It is kept in a backpack, so I can be mobile.  I have the pump plugged in, to keep it charged, when I'm not mobile and trying to get my home back in order after being gone for five days in the hospital. Me and my sexy new bed partner.  I know, I'm gorgeous.  Skinnier than a prepubescent 12-year-old boy and a mess.  Don't judge.  I'm working on it!! Well, my new bed partner/roommate, is going to take getting

CoCo's Journey - Answers!! Finally!!!

 Today I finally got answers!!!  I do not have Cirrhosis!!!  I am Pre-Cirrhotic.  Very close to that precipice but still not falling over the edge and falling into a place that I cannot get out of.  I had seen my gastric bypass doctor a while ago - and was given the wrong information.  I think he was looking at the headline and had not read the story.  It's something I'm good at, too.   My doctor explained that when I was overweight, the fat in my body was damaging my liver.  Then I had gastric bypass and that should have helped my fatty liver.  But, then I wasn't able to absorb the calories, so I became malnourished. My liver was not getting the proteins I needed in order to supply my body with the proper nourishment.  Every organ you have needs protein, and it starts in the liver.  So - the malnourishment started to affect my liver.  Leading to the state I'm in now. The thing I need to work on is getting off the diuretics.  I had some blood tests today, once my doctor