CoCo's Corner

I'm not spontaneous at all.  I usually have some type of plan in my mind about what I am going to do with my hours and my days.  Yes, there are things that come up - but, those things are also planned as things in my days, too, because I expect them. So, when I was on a website and saw that there was a job opening, I have no clue why a spontaneous moment made me apply for it.  I will say, that I am always looking at a particular website that has jobs. I look for myself and those in my life that may be looking for something.  But, I never apply for a job. Now, I am not counting on even getting a phone call.  With the way the economy is going, I am sure there are a lot of people with the qualifications they want to do that job. But, I just felt that it was something that I needed to do. The sad thing is - I know I could do the job, I know I could kick that jobs ass and make it mine.  But, I am realistic enough to know that I probably won't be given the chance.  I just know

I look in the mirror and I see someone a bit overweight, a little chubby.  It's not nearly as horrible as I think.  I still can be a sexy, desirable woman. I see a picture and I can't even imagine that that is me.  All I see is an old, fat, ugly woman.  What would Ted ever see in me - if this is what he really sees.  Case in point: Me and Penny napping together.  How many chins and rolls does Grandma have?? I don't know how many times in the life of this blog I have said, "I'm going to get control of my life", "I'm so going to lose weight",  "I'm going to get healthy" and "I'm going to exercise".  At this point, I say to myself - you're a liar, you're a fool, you're nothing but a fat lady that doesn't see the truth in the mirror.   I was fine living in my fantasy land until about five days after December 30.  That was the day that I opened my email and had a notification of my blood test resu