CoCo's Corner

This is not a health update. I decided to talk about life, in general, since 2014.   Today, I realized that eleven years ago today was my last day at my previous job, my previous career, my previous life.  I loved my previous life, until I didn't.  And that all turned around the end of 2013.  I was a 911 dispatcher for 32 years.  I started on March 1, 1982 as a records clerk.  Moved into dispatch as a call taker and dispatcher, was promoted to supervisor and finally was the deputy director at the end of my career.  That last part was probably the worst decision I ever made.  And maybe the best.   I was there through so many crises and events.  The day I took my application in, I was told pretty much everyone was gone "to the funeral".  A police officer had been shot and killed the week before and nobody was there to take my application.  This was LONG before the internet.  It was a handwritten application and ba...

It's been twelve weeks tomorrow since that fateful night, sitting in a movie theater, watching an amazing movie, when my world shattered.  My entire life changed in the matter of one hour.  One hour of watching men and machines try to keep my husband alive.  One hour until that fateful moment that a man I'd never met before came to tell me that there was nothing left to do and turned my world upside down. I stayed up for 36 hours, not being able to sleep, and finally sleeping for a mere four hours the next night.  I spent that first day crying, continuously, because the face I had loved for 15 years would never be seen again.  That first day was a myriad of plans, decisions and getting things done.  Phone calls, texts, messages were coming non-stop.  And the love of people around me, people I knew and people I didn't, was very apparent. Then came the time that I could not sit still and I could not be alone.  That's when the anxiety started....

We laid her to rest today. And it was beautiful. We laid her to rest today. And I know she felt the love. We laid her to rest today. And I know she was smiling. We laid her to rest today. And I know she was happy. We laid her to rest today. And I know she was there. We laid her to rest today. And she heard every word. We laid her to rest today. And everyone will miss her We laid her to rest today. And we know she is free. We laid her to rest today. And they are together again. We laid her to rest today. I probably talked too much.   Her casket was beautiful.  She had angels on the corners Being taken to her final resting place beside my daddy With my brother and sisters And with the spouses I know no one as lucky as me when these babies came into my life  I love this guy to the moon and back Her service was absolutely beautiful.  I'm sure she was smiling as she heard the words that were spoken and the bea...

January has always been my least favorite month of the year.  It's cold.  The coldest month of the year as far as I'm concerned.  It's cold on day one, it's cold on day thirty one.  Because it's so cold, whatever snow you have that falls doesn't really melt.   Here in Utah, you have to add one other thing, it's gray.  We live in a valley with beautiful mountains on either side of it.  It's a very beautiful place to live.  But, in January, we get inversions.  It's like putting a lid on top of a bowl of soup and it traps the horrible gunk that is in the air in our little valley.  It's just a nasty, ugly, gray of gray smoky stink.  That snow that doesn't melt, it turns ugly gray.  It's not pretty at all.  The exhaust, the dirt, the smoke all attaches itself to the snow.  It's completely ugly.   I don't care what people say, February is cold - but, by the end of the month, it's so much better. This year has been am...

What is a season?  Is it just those thirteen weeks or 91 1/4 days that make up a spring, summer, fall or winter?  Summer seems to be from Memorial Day to Labor Day, from the last day of school to the first day of school.  Though the official day is toward the end of September and we can have warm temperatures well into October, summer is ending. I can say that this summer has turned my world upside down.  In good ways - but, in some not so good ways.  I have spent this summer in the most amazing place in the world.  I have loved pretty much every second, every minute, every hour, every day of working at the airport.  I am seeing people come and go.  I have seen the good and the bad.  I've seen the normal and the strange.   I have had an amazing summer - even though I feel as though I have not had a summer.  I have hardly seen my family.  My husband and I are virtual strangers.  I hope to have time to make up for that...

My backyard has always been BLAH.  No life, no nothing.  The grass that is back there is incredibly uncomfortable to walk on.  I have a deck, which we have put a porch swing.  We really haven't been able to enjoy backyard barbecues or anything like that. I have talked for the last couple of years, I have talked about wanting to replace the horrible grass and put in a patio.  Just some cement that we can enjoy having family barbecues and the like.  Problem was, there was a cost factor.  Well, when I bid my old life adieu, I had 350 hours in vacation time to be paid out.  Figuring I needed to save those dollars to support myself in the fashion I had become accustomed to, I socked it away to use at a later date.  Well, the lucky thing was that my retirement came into play before I even put a dent in the other.  So, I decided to treat myself and the old hubby to a fixer upper moment.  Here is the chronological transformation: G...

Today marks one month since I left my old life behind and moved onward to a new one.  As I've posted before, it was not an easy decision - and I honestly kept thinking that I wouldn't be where I am today when I walked away.  I kept thinking I would wake up and the nightmare would be done.  But, that didn't happen. I spent the first week very angry.  And when I realized that my life was moving in a positive direction and not a negative one - I moved on. The last month has been a whirlwind.  I started projects, none of which are finished.  I went on an amazing road trip - that had to be cut short.  I started a new job.  That is a pretty full month. The new job started out pretty shaky at first - well, shaky for about two days. The intimidation of the reality had me a little freaked out.  I am the oldest of the new hires.  That came with perks, too - as being oldest made me first in seniority.  But, for the next three months, I d...

I've been doing what I do for a very long time to make a living.  I've been at my job for 32 years.  I've loved my job for the most part every minute.  I have had down times, and very seldom have I felt that it was time to leave. That has changed over the last few weeks.  I've had a run of emotions during that time; anger, frustration, overlooked, out-of-the-loop.  There was no single thing that caused this, but an accumulation of things that have happened. I literally ran away from work this week - I took a week off on a moment's notice.  This is something I have never done before in my life - with the exception of funerals.  My plan was to never go back.  I was going to retire and just walk away from everything I knew.  Not that I was prepared for this, because I know I need another job.  But, I was planning to just go forward and if I had to work at Arctic Circle or Walmart I was prepared to do it.  I went so far to go to the...

I had so many plans this week and I hardly did anything I planned.  And I'm ok with that!!! Saturday - November 23:  My Thanksgiving.  I know most people celebrated on November 28, but, we had a large family Thanksgiving before.  Raja and Rustie couldn't come back down for the actual holiday and Brandon was probably going to have to work.  So - we just decided that this was our Thanksgiving. Sunday - November 24:  Stayed home and worked on home stuff.  Was worn out from the previous day. Monday - November 25:  Ted, Crystal and Zachary went to see Dr. Who at the theatre.  It was a special edition, in 3D.  It was crazy.  We all met for dinner and then they went to the movie and Chelsea, KayeLynn and I all came back to the house and played games and watched television. Tuesday - November 26:  Crystal had class today, the kids got out of school early, so I went and picked them up.  We went to Grandma Great's house and ...

I give up.  I'm too busy.  I just can't keep up - - - - - - so here goes the rest of the month in one whole post. I'm thankful for (in no particular order): pedicures fall leaves wind that rakes the leaves to the neighbors yard Chewy Red Hots (ooooh yum) road trips plane trips Nestle Sugar Free Chocolate Milk Powder  pictures - there needs to be more pictures a warm house my bed in the igloo reading glasses - I have seven pairs family time grandbabies - young and older education honeymoons my honey bunny my kids who are awesome adults being busy feelings of accomplishment hot baths home cooked meals writing hair color - but, I earned every one of those gray hairs it's covering amazing stepdaughters sporty car a challenging, new job sitting down, putting my head back, my feet up and saying AAAAHHHHHH!! That's not all!! But, highlights are amazing!!

Last night, Ted and I went to the Bees baseball game.  It wasn't what we planned to do.  We talked about Bingo and I suggested a movie.  Then my BFF said that she had a couple of leftover tickets to the game and I decided to steal them from her.  It was the PMAA (Police Mutual Aid Association) night there - and it's quite the fun night to go. Ted's re-enactment of the scene I can honestly say - I didn't pay much attention, I was having too much fun playing with Kenzi (BFFs granddaughter) and watching people.  Saw some pretty astonishing and crazy things - because I paid more attention to that than I did anything else. About the only time I would pay much attention would be when people would be going, "heads up" "look out" "WHOOOAAAA".   Somewhere around the middle of the game, that is the noise I heard, so I looked up and watched the ball going right over my head.  No big deal, went right over my head and to the upper deck.  I went ...

I am sitting here, tears running down my face.  I have a tendency to wear my heart on my sleeve.  I hate to cry, I hate to show anyone I am crying.  So, to be doing it sitting on my couch is all right - but, my hell, I hate to worry about someone so much. The three Amigos - Mike, Rodger and Phil My son's best friend, the boy/man who was his best man, has left today for Army boot camp.  I kind of feel like I am his link to some sort of motherhood since his own mother died about two years ago.  When his mother died unexpectedly, I was heartbroken for him - but, mostly because he really doesn't have many people in his life.  She walked the dog at her childhood home, laid down next her her husband of less than a year and fell asleep never to awaken.  I was heartbroken for him.  He was left with his grandmother that he adores - but who lives in Price, his father who he is not really close with and his sister, who has her own life several states a...

I turned 49 a year ago tomorrow.  I was all right with that.  I didn't really care.  But, about a couple of months after that, I realized that in less than a year I would be 50.  When my daughter turned 30, it really was a horrible feeling.  How could I have a 30-year-old daughter??  I am not old enough to have a 30-year-old daughter.  I also had to deal with my baby boy getting married last year - which made me feel like I really was getting older. I think it was after Crystal's birthday that I devised a plan.  I was going to take a couple of days off, I was going to get a hotel room - a hotel with a pool - and I was just going to hide out and ride it out.  I had it all figured out. Well, I decided that my kids might be a bit upset with me that I did this.  So, I went back to Plan B - I would do my usual and plan a "kids" birthday for me so that the entire family, including Zach and Chelsea, could have a good time.  I thoug...