Skip to main content

Feeling Lost and Loved - I'm reposting this now that I'm retired

I've been doing what I do for a very long time to make a living.  I've been at my job for 32 years.  I've loved my job for the most part every minute.  I have had down times, and very seldom have I felt that it was time to leave.

That has changed over the last few weeks.  I've had a run of emotions during that time; anger, frustration, overlooked, out-of-the-loop.  There was no single thing that caused this, but an accumulation of things that have happened.

I literally ran away from work this week - I took a week off on a moment's notice.  This is something I have never done before in my life - with the exception of funerals.  My plan was to never go back.  I was going to retire and just walk away from everything I knew.  Not that I was prepared for this, because I know I need another job.  But, I was planning to just go forward and if I had to work at Arctic Circle or Walmart I was prepared to do it.  I went so far to go to the city and get all my paperwork ready to leave.

I'm still not sure of what the future holds.  I know what my own plan is and there is nothing in my foreseeable future to change that course.  I do intend to go back to work on Tuesday.  I have one thing to finish up and that should give me closure - from there I can feel comfortable leaving.

The reason I bring this up?  I have had so much love and support over this week that I have been so overwhelmed.  Ted has been my rock.  He has listened to me cry, rant, bawl and laugh, one to the other over the span of a few minutes during the last few weeks.  He has been there with hugs and anything else I need.  He has listened and has said, "balls to the wall sweetheart - you do what you need to do". My kids have been there - Crystal has cried with me, KayeLynn and Rodger has been there with hugs and have listened to me.  My mom has worried about me and has called numerous times to see how I am doing.  They have all listened to me.  They have given me incredible support.  I felt that no matter what I do, I would be OK.  I love each and every one of them and their incredible ability to deal with my ups and downs over this last week.

I also had the support of five incredible friends.  I also learned who has my back and supports me through thick and thin.  I appreciate each of these five women from here to the moon and then back.

They have listened, they have counselled, they have loved me and worried about me.  I love each of you and I thank you all for loving me unconditionally.




Comments

Popular posts from this blog

CoCo's Journey - Ah, Shit!!!

I am exhausted.  Physically.  Mentally.  Is there anything else??  Because I'm sure that is exhausted, too. I went to the doctor today.  I knew it was going to be a lot of information.  I had made a list.  I had my notebook.  I printed out all of the information from my emergency room visit on Saturday to take with me.  Blood tests.  CT Scan.  Urine test.  Plus, I brought my CT scan from March, because I noticed on it that I have a small umbilical hernia.  I was ready.  And I knew what I needed to fight for. I also came armed with gifts.  I love this doctor and his medical assistant so much.  I took them a gift of tortilla chips and homemade salsa.  And I wrote a love note on the bag.  That is how much I appreciate him.  They both loved it.  It even made Hayley get a little weepy, cuz she was having a bad day. I gave him all of my documents, and he went through the blood tests and such fr...

CoCo's Journey - Pre-surgery thoughts

I've been hanging out in my house for the most part.  Hiding from germs.  Hiding from phlegm.  Hiding from coughs.  Hiding from sneezes.  Hiding from snot. Trying to stay healthy until surgery day.  Not that I can hide very well.  Roommate daughter is literally coughing a lung up.  So, she can only hang out with me if she is wearing a mask.  I am bathing in hand sanitizer when I remember.  I'm taking elderberry gummies with a bunch of zinc and vitamin C in order to boost my immunities.   Poor Roommate. Not that I would know much if I did have a cold.  My nose has been running constantly since the day Jeff was pushed up my nostril.  I have a constant sore throat, due to the tube rubbing in the back of my throat.  The worst part is when I'm laying down and roll onto my left side.  It starts to move around and I feel like I'm choking.  It doesn't do it every time, but most of the time.  And I don...

CoCo's Journey - The Notorious Dr. Z

When I get my dressing charges I must wear a mask.  The nurse, too.  So we don't get germs on it!! So, I thought I would share a little bit more about how I got here.  But I'm going to be discussing how I was medically gaslighted, (gaslit -- who knows) and was not treated properly.  And due to that, I am now where I am. When I had my collapse on November 19, 2022, after my knee replacement, I was taken to the emergency room.  The doctor there is the one that told me I was malnourished.  He told me I needed to follow up with my primary care physician (PCP).  When I went to make an appointment with said PCP, I found out my PCP had left the organization, and I no longer had one.  After explaining my situation, they decided to set me up with an appointment with Dr. Z.  I was fine with it, because I needed to get to a doctor.  My first visit, he seemed OK.  But I found him a bit odd.  I'm completely fine with odd, as long as they kn...