CoCo's Corner

So, I just read Amberly's blog. The way she writes is amazing and I would love to tell her that I am not sure whether to be happy or sad by what she has written in her last post. Anyway, she got me to thinking. Is tomorrow really a new beginning? Does one day really make the difference to a whole new life or ideaology or new way of thinking? Does one day change lives? Oh, I am sure they can change your life, but, does it necessarily have to be January 1? Yes, I do resolutions and they are alway the same thing. I resolve to lose weight. I resolve to pay off bills. I resolve to not take Ted for granted. YAWN YAWN YAWN!! Maybe it's time to resolve to NOT be Mary Sunshine. Maybe it's time to resolve NOT to let people take advantage of my good humor. Maybe it's time to resolve NOT to let the weight of the world get me down. I would love to say I am not going to sit on my couch, with my computer on my lap and watch television constantly - but, I know that AIN...

It's 10:30 in the morning. I have been up getting ready for tonight. It's my Christmas tonight. I've got three pies made; two pumpkin and one dutch apple - YUM YUM. Stuffing is done and inside the big turkey. Turkey is now in the oven. Gotta get the rolls rising (thank you Mrs. Rhodes). Made my orange cranberry relish. So, I decided to sit down for just a few minutes. Gonna get Rustie and KayeLynn busy stuffing stockings as soon as KayeLynn is done with her bath. I always look so forward to this day, but there sure is a lot of work that goes into it!! I feel like I run and run all the day. Ted really wants to go to midnight mass this year; I would really like to give him his wish. I am very excited this year. Zach and Chelsea are so excited about Christmas. Zach has been doing a count down. This many days til Coco's Christmas - this many days til Christmas. They are so adorable and I am so excited to see them and all my kids tonight. We have a new addi...

I have said that Halloween is my favorite holiday. It's just plain fun. But, as far as holidays that make me happy, sentimental and reminiscent, it would be Christmas. As a child, I can tell you that my favorite Christmas was when I was about 13 or 14 years old. It wasn't from any present I got, it was something even more special. My father had a drinking problem and it seems like every Christmas Eve he drank, drank to excess. My father wasn't a fun or funny drunk, he was depressing and maudlin and he wasn't fun to be around when he had been drinking. So, I usually didn't enjoy Christmas Eve very much. However, this one Christmas Eve, way back when, he didn't drink. We had a great time. We stayed up and watched one of the old Christmas Carol movies and then we watched Holiday Inn. Those two movies have become two of my very favorite Christmas movies ever. It really was a turning point in my understanding of what the holiday is truly about. Now, it...

So, it was that time again. That wonderful time of year. The time when I get to go with Santa to a party and see the reaction of the guests, meaning the kids. This is the best and sweetest Santa ever. All of the kids were so shy around him and he was there for quite some time. He sat in the rocking chair and let them come up to him, most of them kind of just left him alone, but they were always aware of his presence. I love Santa so very much and appreciate how wonderful he is to do this every year. Thanks Santa!!

So, that guy that kidnapped and victimized Elizabeth Smart has been found guilty. Yes, I know his name, but, I don't think it's worth mentioning. However, she was a big part of my life back eight years ago. Mine and a lot of other people I work with. I was at work the night after she was taken. Those dispatchers dealt with non-stop ringing phones. It's unimaginable what they had to deal with. We knew exactly when the Larry King show was on, because every line would start ringing and ringing and ringing and ringing. Every time any kind of information was put out to the press and broadcast, the phones would start ringing and ringing and ringing and ringing. Every psychic, pseudo-psychic, thinks-they-are-psychic called in. Not once, but constantly. Sad thing is, some of these psychics actually had some pretty good information, but we were so inundated with such varied information, there was absolutely no way to keep up with it and sift through it all. However, the d...

So, I live in a PUD. It's got some great perks. I don't have to shovel my driveway, because I pay to have someone else to do it through my HOA dues. I don't have to mow my front lawn, because I pay someone else to do it through my HOA dues. I don't pay a water bill, because I pay that through my HOA bills. So, like I said, there are definite perks. However, the last newsletter had an item that concerned me because they had two board member openings and nobody was volunteering to do it. They said that if nobody volunteered, they may have to turn over the duties to a management company. This would come with a probable hefty increase of the homeowner dues. Now, I am just getting to a point that I am comfortable and able to make sure my bills are paid without much stress - with a little left over to get some debt paid off, hopefully completely out of debt, within the next three to four years. So, the idea of a hefty increase was not something I wanted to consider, ...

I have become obsessed with a little tab on my dashboard. For those of you who don't blog, your dashboard keeps track of the blogs you follow, let's you change your design, where you can post new stuff, etc. Anyway, I look at it ALL THE TIME!! Why, because I want to see who and what is looking at my blog. Now, at this point, this is what I have found out: 1) I believe I have bored my children to pieces, because they no longer look at it. 2) Trynitee, Natalie, Emily and Amberly do look at it still. Why, I don't honestly know. 3) Some people look at it through my Facebook page. 4) Three people in Malaysia looked at it last week through a website MoreDietPlan.com. I am guessing because I put in one of my posts about HCG and going on a diet. Not sure. 5) The second most views (by nation) is from Canada with 14, then Russia with 5 (Ted is sure it's because the Russians are looking for him), plus Denmark, China, Pakistan, Germany, Spain and Panama (don't forge...

It's Thanksgiving today. I thought I would list some of what I am thankful for - - I am thankful for the usual stuff, my awesome husband, my wonderful kids and their spouses, my great stepdaughters, my sweetheart grandkids, my lovely mother, my outstanding siblings, my sweet BFF and the rest of my friends. But, here is a list of other things I am thankful for: I am thankful for Diet Coke. It's my life's blood. It's what I drink and it runs through my veins. In second place is a BIG glass of iced tea! I am thankful for reality television. Most of it is mindles and crazy, but, it's something I enjoy. I love to watch Amazing Race, Biggest Loser, So Ya Think Ya Can Dance, Project Runway. Those four are my favorites. I am thankful for my couch. The reason I am thankful for my couch is listed above. I am thankful for having a job, not just a job but a career I love. Though, I get frustrated at times, I truly love what I do. Not only that, I am so thankful to h...

Yes, big word for me. But, after playing and writing in my blog for just about a year now, I have really discovered how cathartic it really is for me. Writing in general is. Even a post in facebook is, now and then; my stupid aging posts, an occassional rant. It really is therapy for me. I may laugh at myself and think I am witty, but, it's my therapy. I may cry at things and find them sad, but, it's my therapy. I may rant at things and get angry, but it's my therapy. I'm not great at confrontation at all, (well, except for poor Ted who gets the brunt of it mostly) so this is the way I get some of the words I want to say out. I'm not great at debating or arguing, my idea of an argument is stomping my feet to get my way. I can have a conversation and can be a good listener, but, I'm not great at thinking of interesting things to say on the fly. I sit and listen to things my grandkids say or the things I am told they've said and really wish I would ha...

It's my baby boy's birthday. He goes by many names, James, Rodger, Raja, Jaja, Grizzly Jim, Buddy. He is an awesome man, though I still see him as my baby. He has amazing talent in the behind the scenes theatre; those who have seen him work truly appreciate that talent. He has grown up being the boy in the family. After his dad died, he was truly left alone in a sea of estrogen. I truly feel that it has made him the awesome man that he is - because I feel he has a great knowledge of how to deal with women. I have talked about the days that his sisters were born, so in all fairness, you're going to have to listen to about the time Raja was born. As with his sister's birth, Raja was about the same. Lots of early labor and such. I didn't have an ultra sound with him until shortly before he was born. I finally got one because we weren't sure when we were really due, so they wanted a more accurate date. They told me he was a boy, but, since them telling me...

Yes, I am up again. I am awake again. I am not sleeping again. I actually slept pretty good all the nights I worked, so that is a blessing. It's extremely difficult to get up at 4:30 in the morning if you have been up half the night - so I am extremely happy that I don't have to do that in a couple of hours. I really do hate the days that I wake up. I heard a tip the other day about trying to get back to sleep when you wake up. They said count backwards from 100 in increments of three - you will get bored and be back to sleep before you are done. Not me, I laid there and counted - - 100, 97, 94, 91, 88, 85, 82 - - so on, so forth. Made it all the way down. Decided I would get up at that point, because I always know where to find someone to talk to, if I want to, in the middle of the night. So, I got up and started texting my BFF and eventually called her. It's nice to know where someone is always awake. The thing that woke me up was my dream. I was dreaming it...

It's my hubby's birthday. I struck gold when I found this boy - or as I tell him, when I married my stalker. He was a rather persistent boy and never gave up. He is very good to me and I really appreciate him. He's a very funny character. His little habits and such either make me laugh, giggle, cringe or just plain mad. I tease him becaue of the big geek he is. He has so much information in that big lunk head of his, that when you ask him a question, you will get a ten minute dissertation before he finally gets to the plain, simple answer. He is hilarious when he tries to teach you something. Case in point, he was explaining to KayeLynn about her computer, and in order to explain the different sizes of information, i.e. megabite, gigabite, etc, he would get different sizes of ball and say "this is a megabite", then say something like the living room was a gigabite. He loves his props. I love to travel with him. We travel very well together. Whether it...

As most of you know, I've been sick. I've been very sick. It started with a slight sore throat the Friday before Halloween. Luckily, I was able to make it through the holiday weekend with just some minor irritation. I went to bed on Sunday night with the plan of waking up for work the next morning. I woke up at about 1:30 and was WAY sick. I felt like a vise was squeezing my chest and was just miserable. I called work and my very best friend, Elaine, told me that Jen was working for four hours in the morning, so I told her to put me down for time off until 10:00 and I was sure I would feel better by then!! I was so wrong!! I had to call in sick for work. I have not called in sick for work in forever!! But, there was absolutely no way - but, I still felt guilty!! Tuesday, I was supposed to work at a polling location for the election. I was sure I would be better for that. I even got up and forced myself to make some pumpkin cookies to go with my bag of food to feed ...

It's my sister Carol's birthday today. She is one of the most awesome women I know. She is very giving in spirit and life. She is alway concerned about other people. She remembers all of our birthdays and I always forget hers. I don't know why, but for some reason, I alway forget to call her on her birthday. So, I have taken to putting it in my phone's calendar, so I get an alert that says, "CALL YOUR SISTER FOR HER BIRTHDAY YA BIG DORK"!! Sis, I just want to know that I truly love you. You are an example of lovliness, charity, good grace, spiritualness, beauty and love. I hope you have an awesome day today.

For some reason, Halloween is my very favorite holiday. I don't know if it's the weather. I don't know if it's the kids. I don't know if it's the heathen inside of me. Whatever it is, it's my very favorite. And though I don't know if I agree with the whole trick or treat on Saturday when Halloween lands on Sunday, I have to say what happens is that Halloween becomes not just a day, but a whole weekend!! It's quite awesome and it started on Thursday. Thursday was Zachary's class party and Halloween parade. This is kindergarten and so fun!! I got to see his teacher for the first time, what an awesome lady!! Then on Friday, Crystal, Zachary, Chelsea and I went to my work to do some trick or treating there. It's kind of been a bit of a tradition since Zach was born for us to go. It was a lot of fun. We started out by going to "Old McDonalds" and having lunch after Chelsea got out of preschool. Saturday, in Utah, was trick o...

Have you ever felt like you were in the midst of a crazy time warp? That's how I feel right now. It just feels like time is flying by because of everything that is starting to shape up for the future. I mean, Halloween and Chelsea's third birthday are in two weeks. That is crazy to realize. Before you know it, it will be Ted's birthday, then Rodger's. Right after that, it's Thanksgiving. One month after that - Christmas is here. I'm freaking out a bit. It's not the holidays that have me worried, it's that March is starting to just rush right at me!!! Usually, that would be ok, because that would mean it's almost Spring again. But, this March, my son is getting married. Now, I've really, honestly come to terms with my "baby boy" getting married. But, it's all the preparations and such that have me freaking out a bit. Becaue once Christmas is done, I know that March will be here sooo fast. We have a lot to plan for the ...

Ted's mom and dad live in Palisade, Colorado. It's just east of Grand Junction. It's a five hour drive from here. Usually, Ted wants to wake up at four in the morning and drive there and then leave to come home around ten. But, sometimes, I can talk him into leaving on Friday and staying in a hotel/motel and spending a longer time with them - then head home a little earlier. I'm really good about traveling, but, sometimes ten hours in a car is just too hard!!! Anyway, we left Friday afternoon and headed to Grand Junction. (One note: I hate driving in Utah County!! It's always horrible, there is always horrible road construction, it's always horrible congestion - - I just hate it there!!) Anyway, this is all about visiting the in-laws. Ted's parents are awesome people. They are both very interesting and I love spending time with them. Most of my time is spent with Ted's mom and I see where Ted gets alot of his little idiocyncracies - his love ...

It's my little girl's 26th birthday today. She is an amazing woman. She is slowly making her way through school while working full time as a CNA. CNA's don't make a lot of money, so she still hangs out here with Ted and I - much to her chagrine. She has had to struggle a lot through her young life. Two episodes of cancer, the chemotherapy and radiation that she endured has taken a toll on her young body and caused her to have lots of crap that she deals with now, mostly fibromyalgia. It's been 26 years, but boy, I sure can remember that day she was born. I had been having contractions for weeks. Had to spend a week in the hospital when I was about six months along, because of premature labor. Had to take horrible drugs to keep the contractions at bay for the next couple of months. I was not supposed to work, but, because we were always so broke, I continued working without my doctor's knowledge. Well, the night of September 23, I was having a lot of c...

I had THE most amazing experience yesterday. I couldn't believe how amazing and awesome it was going to be and I wouldn't have missed it for the world. I would have given up my next six meals to do this - I would have gone and bought a loaf of bread and sustained myself on that for the next couple of days if I had to. There is no way in the land I would have missed this for anything (and I am going on and on about this, because there were people who didn't go with us when offered the opportunity). I went WHALE WATCHING! The company we went through has two trips they offer a day. They only send out a boat if there are at least twenty people. We had exactly that! The ship before us, in the morning had 74!! I am so glad we had the less crowded boat. We could move around from side to side without much problem. Had there been as many as before, it would have been impossible to go from one side to the other. As it stood, if there was a whale on one side, we could all ...

Patronize: verb: to treat condescendingly I hate when I get so mad that the things I would like to say won't hit the tip of my tongue. The one thing that can get me to that point is to patronize me, "well, ma'am, you wouldn't want us to go in and replace a bunch of parts that we don't need to, do you, that would just cost you a lot of money". AARRGGGHHH!!!! Today, I had planned to take my car to get all the little things that need to be done taken care of. Took it in to get the tires rotated. Took it in and got the oil changed. The last thing I needed to do was to take it to Larry Miller Jeep to get some warranty work done. My car has two issues. Number one: the seat belt won't engage - I put it in and it doesn't clasp, so I have to pull it out and do it again. Sometimes it does it that time, sometimes it doesn't. Number two: my car has had a problem starting. I can turn the key and it does nothing - doesn't click, doesn't tur...

First off - let me introduce you to my painting clothes. I have (obviously) used these clothes to do painting. I don't know that I used them at my old house in Kearns, but I do know that I started using them in my condo and have also used them in this house that I have with Ted. They are a pair of George's sweat pants and one of his tee-shirts. Just started using them to do painting stuff in. They are so stiff in some places it's not even funny - and the butt is colored with different colors, because I have a tendency to bend over and then I stick my butt on a newly painted wall, etc. My project started in my entry way. I started with the frame. I have big plans for the frame. But, I will have to reveal it when it's all completed!! The color of the frame is "bran muffin". I used it in my bedroom when I painted it a couple of years ago. Then came the next color. It's a burnt orange and I absolutely love it!! I have painted the entry - and now ...

I have developed this new tradition. It's one I enjoy very much. It always begins in September. Maybe not always the first day of September, but, sometime toward the beginning. You see, when my friend Patti and I were working together, I realized that she had accumulated her vacation to the point of "use it or lose it". I always kept a nice bank, but not quite to that extreme. Well, in 2006 I decided that would be my goal, saving up all my vacation to the point I was "topped out". So, in the year 2006, I used only eight hours of vacation the entire year!! Now, why would I do that?? I did that because I'm a planner, I do not have one spontaneous bone in my body, so I plan. What am I planning for, my retirement. That way, when I retire, the city will have to pay me out for at least 300 hours of vacation - a nice little paycheck to keep me going until the old retirement checks start rolling in. By doing that, I have forced myself to use five weeks o...

So, my heart is broken for a very sweet guy tonight. I have known Mike (or Mikey as I call him) for several years. He and my son, Rodger, have been best friends pretty much since junior high school. They have remained that way through high school, college, being roommates, moving apart, etc. Rodger and Mike lived together for about two years. They both decided they wanted to go to school. Rodger was going to go to Utah State and Mike worked very hard to get accepted to an art school in Arizona. Mike has always been kind of a lost soul to me. He has this extremely rough exterior and does not let people in. I love to tease him and make like I'm going to hug him (and sometimes I do), because he makes these odd noises and tries to get away. He definitely has boundaries where his personal space is concerned. He went to school durin the summer and had a bit of a break before the fall semester started, so he went home. His mom had moved to the Denver area and that is where he we...

We took a jaunt to Idaho Falls on Saturday. The trip had three reasons. The first was to see Ted's daughter, my stepdaughter, DeeDee and her son. The second was to celebrate her son Gabriel's second birthday that was on August 2. The third reason was to see DeeDee's husband, Logan, for the first time since he was released from prison. Yes, I have a son-in-law that went to prison and was just released. He and DeeDee made some HUGE mistakes a few years ago, which landed her on probation and him going to prison. DeeDee has made some great strides in her life, she was about six months pregnant when she went to jail. When Gabriel was born, it was like a light went on and she realized that she was responsible for another person. She went to group therapy and worked very hard to get her life straight. She just got a job at Home Depot a few months ago, where she has become a shining star and has received a few awards for how hard she works. Anyway - back to our trip. We ...

So, I tend to have a very sensitive side. It's a side that I don't like to show AT ALL!! A side that when I get my feelings hurt, I just want to hide somewhere and cry. That's how I felt today. And, really, it was stupid. I hate this side of me. I guess those old inadequacies started to erupt again; those ones where you feel like you're outside, where you aren't part of a group, where you feel like that geeky, awkward kid that has no friends. The part I hate is that I let stupid shit get to me the way I do. Why would I let something so insignificant get to me? I guess I just get frustrated that I work really hard at trying to make everyone happy, I work hard to try to see everyone's side, I am always the devil's advocate; but, it doesn't matter, I still end up getting walked all over at times. And, it's always the stupid stuff that sets me off. Not getting invited to lunch?? Why would that upset me so bad?? I work really hard to not let m...

I developed this problem about a year and a half ago. I got hooked when a friend introduced me to my addiction. It started out as a casual thing, just was doing it every once in a while. I really wasn't getting any satisfaction from it, so I kind of gave it up. Then, about seven months ago, I started again. I started out slow again and I just did it every once in a while. Then I started doing it more and more. Now, it's to the point I have to do it every day. And, I don't do it just a little bit - I'm doing it about two hours every day. Constantly. I can't stop. But, I really don't want to stop. I enjoy my addiction. But, it has started to control my life a bit. If I even think I am going to miss a day, I start to go a little crazy, trying to find a way to sneak away to do it - find a moment that I can just get a little satisfaction. It has it's paybacks - some days are better than others. I enjoy my addiction. Hello, my name is Colleen and I...

Age is just a fact of life. Every second, every minute, every day, every week, every year, we get older. It's just what happens with us. We start as babies and grow and learn. We become toddlers, then children, then those gangly in between years, then teenagers, onward to adults. Once we hit adulthood, it seems that the time goes faster and faster and soon, we are staring fifty square in the face. Along with that comes other worries. Our children grow older and go through those same stages. They get engaged. They get married. They have children. You then get to watch them go through the same thing you went through with them and then you have different worries concerning grandchildren and in-laws. Then on the whole other spectrum, you have your parents to worry about. I am rather lucky; my mother is two blocks away. If she needs something, she gives me a call and I get there as soon as I can. I also have a brother and two sisters within shouting distance if she needs s...

It's not like it is a habit of mine. And, the last time I remember doing it was when I was in Florida, with my very best friend, Elaine. That was several years ago. In fact, if you want to see her pee her pants, just ask her about me falling down in Florida. It automatically brings her to tears and she can't talk because she is laughing so hard. But, this year, I have fallen down twice in the last couple of months. Both times, it has been extremely traumatic to me. First time: It was raining pretty hard. It was in the early spring. I was driving my mother over to Comcast to upgrade her cable television. She was told to bring the remote control and of course, we forgot it. So, we turned around and went back to the house. I pushed the button to get into the garage and the garage door was opening. Well, because it was raining, I had my head down and I wasn't looking. You've got it, I ran smack dab into the garage door because it hadn't opened all the way...

So, I've never really been one to celebrate Utah's Pioneer Day. Way back when, while I was in high school, I had to march in that parade twice. It's always SOOO hot and I think the route is about 300 miles long and when you are marching, it becomes 600 miles long. I usually watch the parade on television in air conditioning. We've usually done the family barbecues and such, but it was more of a way to get together with family than anything. This year was different. There were no get togethers. There were no barbecues. Ted is a huge fan of fireworks and there was no way I was going to fight the horrendous crowds at Liberty Park, which ended up being a good thing since those fireworks were shut down early. A couple of days before, I had a thought occur to me and I broached the subject with Crystal. She decided it was a great idea, too. When we found out that Brandon would probably be in town for the day, we met up and bought tickets in the early afternoon and the...

It's been a long time, but I remember it like it was yesterday. I had been having contractions for over two weeks. A week and a half ago, my doctor had told me he didn't think I would last but a couple more days, because I was dialated to a three. I remember crying when that couple of days went by and I was still pregnant and miserable. I remember going to a barbecue the night before and my aunt telling me that I had at least another week to go because my baby had not even dropped - so even more tears. I was nineteen years old, huge pregnant, miserable and I wanted to hold my baby. I didn't know what I was going to have, way back then, they didn't do ultrasounds (my cousin had given birth a few months before and she didn't even know she was going to have twins until she was in labor and they did an x-ray!!). I went to bed on July 18 and was still having contractions, but I had been having them for weeks, so nothing was different - I had been to the hospital t...

Welcome Drew Rustie Rolfe!! Thursday morning, I got a call from my son. Now, it's no secret that my baby boy is extremely special to me; he's got a huge hunk of my heart!! Anyway, when he called me Thursday he asked me if I was sitting down - to which I said I wasn't (it's not a good sign when someone asks you that and I really was sitting down, but I was kind of frightened). Then he told me to sit down. He then proceeded to tell me that he had asked his girlfriend to marry him and she said YES (why anyone would consider saying no is completely beyond me). He had given her the ring that he had bought for her to signify the special event. After congratulating him for just a second, I went into mom mode and started lecturing him about stuff I had already said to him, over and over and over and over and over before. That was not a very nice thing for me to do, because I had kind of stolen his happy thunder and I really feel kind of horrible about that. His sister ...

It's no secret that Ted and I met on the internet. We jibbered and jabbered via Match.Com a few times and then he sent me his phone number. We won't go into details about what made me give him a call, other than I was in need of a boost. I gave him a call and he was "busy" for a bit working on his carbuerator (yes, I was shunned aside for a carbuerator) and he asked if he could call me back later. Well, he did call me later that night and we made arrangements to meet at Denny's on 3500 South and 2200 West the next afternoon. No, it wasn't a four-star restaurant, but it was a way for either of us to run or make excuses if things were not going well. We sat there for a few hours; I drank Diet Coke and Ted drank Iced Tea. We talked, mostly Ted talked, about stuff I had absolutely no clue about; I tease him a lot about everything he says pretty much floats above my head, because I have no idea what he is talking about. That was October 10, 2004. After a w...