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How Will It End?

My mother is in the hospital.  I'm trying to maintain a semblance of normal.  She is completely whackadoodle - my  new word to describe what she is going through right now, completely out of her head in some aspects and completely cognizant in others.  She doesn't really know what is going on in her reality right now.  I go from laughing at the things she says to wanting to cry because I really don't know what is going on in her world.  Is it the end?  Is she close to the veil and that is why she is seeing and doing things that I don't understand?  Or is it that she is just out of her normal routine and it's thrown her 87-year-old brain into a tailspin?  I don't know.

I'm totally exhausted.  My brain is fried right now.  I haven't bathed since Sunday, because I just can't find the time nor the energy.  I have spent hours and hours at the hospital.  I spent hours trying to maintain my own life.  I've not spent hours doing what I want to do - work on painting my living room and such, so my remodeling can move forward.  The hoarder lifestyle is about to send me over the edge.

Right now, all I want to do is go soak in a hot tub of water.  All I want to do is get in  my pajamas.  I still need to finish dinner.  I still need to run to the rehab center that they moved my mother to today to take a prescription.  It's not an easy place to get to.  It's a little further than I planned.  Ted and KayeLynn are both evening napping - KayeLynn before she goes to work, Ted after he has worked all day.  I'm a bit envious of both of them.  If I nap, I won't sleep tonight.

That elusive hot bath, no thoughts in my brain and a night of restful sleep on my mind, but not in my near future.
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