CoCo's Journey - Sleeping with Jeff AND Camilla

 

Well, the day has come and gone.  I got my new and fancy attachment coming out of my face.  It was a horrible experience.  I thought I was going to go absolutely insane and take out the people putting it in me.  But, let's talk about it real quick.

I got an NJ tube.  I thought I was going to be getting an NG tube.  What is an NJ tube?  It's a tube for feeding that is placed through the nose and snaked down past the stomach and into the jejunal.  The jejunal is in the small intestine.  The nasojejunal tube is more complex and has a few more risks than the nasogastric tube.  But, apparently, it's the best choice for me.  

So let's talk about the actual procedure.  I knew from the beginning, when they squirted lidocaine in my two nostrils to kind of deaden it that it was going to be COMPLETELY horrible!!!  And then needed me to sniff it down to kind of deaden my throat, to make the tube a little more comfortable going through there.  I was laying on the gurney, they had an x-ray machine sitting over the top of me, so they could keep track and make sure the tube was going where it needed to go.  As soon as they started doing anything, I said, I need to sit on my hands - or I'm going to be fighting you.  So that's what I did.  Sat on my hands.  So, when they started sending that tube down my throat, I tried to just relax - but that ain't happening.  At one point, I had uncontrolled gagging.  So she took a break from it for a few minutes to allow myself to make myself calm down.  They finished getting the tube in, then she had to "anchor" it down.  Hence, the second tube you see coming out my nose.  

What goes through my tube to give
me nutrition.  I find it interesting that
they are flavored.

By the time I got to my car, I was not knowing how I was going to make it through.  I called my roommate daughter.  Having a hard time speaking.  Not knowing what I was going to eat.  Not knowing how long it would be before I have my life back.  I was ready to rip it out, and I had just barely left the hospital.  I can tell you, now I've gotten a little more used to it.  I finally understand how to hook me up and how to run my food.  It runs a night, while I'm sleeping.  It usually doesn't bother me.  There is one reallllly weird sensation that it does. Every hour, it flushes water through, to keep clogs away.  It goes really fast, and the water feels cold.  You can feel it every time sloshing through, every corner it hits.  

When I got home after the whole procedure, I sent a message to all of my grandchildren.  The message included a picture of me with me with my new attachment.  I said I needed help naming it.  Silence.  None of them even responded.  Then I added, give me a name of someone who makes you uncomfortable or you just don't like.  The names started pouring in.  I tried a couple of different

tactics and then just decided the boys names were going to name the tube going into my nose.  And the girl's names would be to name my pump and tubing that were giving me nutrition.  When I was doing TPN, I named my bag and tubing IVY and my actual PICC line that was delivering the nutrition was Chef PICCard.  So - it made sense to me.  So my tube's name is Jeff Axel Gerrard Blender Rider Leonard - in honor of mean and hateful bullies and enemies.  And Chef Camilla Olivia Nancy Mia for unliked humans and bullies.  Because that is what this whole process has been.  

I'm going to make it through.  I refuse to give in and give up. I'm

going to keep going.  I have no desire to continue down the path I have been going down.  It's time to take a detour, even if it's a rickety dirt and rock road.  If it gets me where I'm going, that's what I need.  

Just wanted to show you that I do eat.  Tonight for dinner, I made country fried steak, mashed potatoes and gravy.  It's always been one of our favorites.  And make sure you keep scrolling for my newest selfie!!!!

And here is my blog selfie.  Enjoy!!!