CoCo's Corner

Ted went back to work today. He's actually been working on and off since he got out of the hospital.  But, he was clear to drive today and the doctor said to see how he did at half days and he could head back to work - so after doing OK last week, he is back to work. Today - I say AAAHHHHH!!!!  It's really my first moment alone since he got out of the hospital. Not that i don't love spending time with the smartest man in the world, but, I love my alone time.  Plus, over the last couple of weeks, I would look at my living room and my body would just tighten up in a deep cringe. It started pretty much from the moment he walked in the door, home from the hospital.  Here - let me paint a visual for you: Three computer bags - all with computers - all spread about the couch.  One or two of them open at any given time.  At one point, he had Brandon's computer, too - fixing it.  One or more computers would be set up on TV trays around the living room. Fo...

I have been struggling this last week.  Things are piling up in my brain and making me frustrated and irritable. I've been plain cranky. I feel like life is rushing by and I'm two steps behind everyone else.  I feel like I'm on the outside looking in.  I can't even say for sure why - the window I'm looking through is getting really frosted over, too.  And, I'm tired of the feeling. I'm happy to have Ted home, but, I feel like everything is in disarray there.  Its not just a feeling, everything is in disarray. And mundane.  Work all day then try to figure out something healthy for dinner.  When you're a chunky woman who eats with her emotions, being cranky and not being able to dive into a piece of cake or something is extremely frustrating.  So trying to figure out how to make chicken tasty again is rough.  Especially after frying my brain out trying to figure out how to make it through another day at work - a place where everyone is frus...

When I got to the hospital today to see Ted, I found him a bit emotional.  He told me he had just read the couple of posts I had written about his pneumonia.  It was kind of rough to see him react that way - but, he is at the end of this hospital stay and he wants to be done.  So, I can see how things would start to get to him.  He said to me, "no comments?".  I showed him the comments on facebook where I had posted the entries.  He got choked up again. I have often said that I loved being single.  I enjoyed the freedom.  I enjoyed the independence.  I didn't have to answer to anyone - other than telling my kids where I would be.  The good thing about being married to Ted is that he, for the most part, allows me to have that independence.  He knows that I am a grownup and he knows that I would never do anything that would hurt him.  He trusts me and I trust him. We love spending time together - but, he doesn't feel like he ha...

Warning - the following entry has sexual content and may be offensive to some readers. Beyond that - it's funnier than hell!! I was getting my nails done this afternoon.  When I walked in, there was just one woman there getting her nails done.  I was directed to sit in the chair next to her.  Eventually, it got pretty busy and there were about five of us all together. I am sitting there, the older of the little Asian ladies is doing my nails. By the way, they look pretty dang pretty.  Suddenly, she looks at me and asks, "what is 69?"  I wasn't sure I heard her correctly and just sat there for a second.  Again, "what is 69?  Is it American thing?".  I just shook my head and said, "I don't know".  I wasn't sure she meant what she said.  The woman sitting next to her, also Asian, says to the woman who was there when I came in and says, "she wants to know what 69 is".  The women there, who knows all these woman by name, has th...

Excuse the title - but, all I could thing of is a mighty oak falling in the forest when Ted got so sick.  I wasn't sure what his outcome would be.  I decided to kind of journal his journey through this little setback called pneumonia.  I can tell you that I've cried every day - for one reason or another.  It's been a battle.  Other than people who were terminally ill, I have never known someone who was this sick - even my little KayeLynnie when she was battling leukemia.  Though my mother was in ICU just this last winter with pneumonia after heart surgery, there are parts of me that thinks Ted actually was sicker than her.  I feel that if my mother had been in Ted's shoes, we would have buried her.  Had Ted waited even two or even one more day, we may have had to bury him.  It was a rough few days. Saturday - December 29.  Ted has been coughing since around Thanksgiving.  It seems like the last week or so, he had been coughing a l...

With Ted being in the hospital and all, I am finding out a lot of things I have no desire to know.  Some of these I had a little bit of knowledge of, but, I have a lot more now. I am finding myself very familiar with the Jordan Valley Medical Center.  Whereas, I used to get lost coming back from the cafeteria, I now can make it back without a problem.  I know that the retail pharmacy has fountain diet coke with the crunchy ice and every size is a dollar - it costs more in the cafeteria.  I know where to go to get a free newspaper.  As we sat in the surgical waiting area, all alone as everyone else was gone, we joked about the locked door across the hall.  Our Grey's Anatomy fantasies in full gear and discussing how we thought that behind the locked door were doctors and surgeons sneaking away for sexual adventures.   I walk up to the CVICU and push the button  to gain admission and they are automatically opened to me now - they know who I am. ...