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Jitters


I am up in the middle of the night. I try to go back to sleep, but my brain is swirling miles and miles a minute. My stomach is tied up in a HUGE knot. I've got the night sweats, can't cool down for anything. No, I don't have the flu. I'm just a mess.

I think things really hit me Wednesday night. I was reading Crystal's blog, where she said that it really had hit her - her baby brother was getting married. She is so sweet and I understood. I was sitting here on the couch with Ted and I just started to kind of sob; he was sweet to take care of me and hold me. My baby can't get married, he's just a baby. He is an awesome man - but, he's just a baby.

This week has just screamed by. I have been so busy doing stuff and preparing for the wedding. Monday and Tuesday were spent cooking. Wednesday and Thursday I was cleaning and running around. Today we are having a dinner for the wedding party. Tomorrow is the big day.

This man, who is actually a baby, has a huge piece of my heart. He is my baby, he is my only boy. I love all my kids. I adore every one of them. I love and adore them all differently; because they are all different people. Crystal is my oldest; a soulmate of sorts - she actually helped me raise the other two. She is an awesome mom, wife, daughter, sister and person. KayeLynn has alway been "My BooBoo". In fact, she is called "Aunt BooBoo". She is the one that I always seem to worry about. She and I spend a lot of time together and I am amazed by her every day. And then it comes to my "baby boy". What an awesome man; he can't stand to see anyone sad or upset. He will find ways to try and make you laugh, because he can't stand to see people cry. You will never find a more patient and kind man (who is still a baby to me). He just absolutely loves Rustie - I've really, honestly never seen anyone more in love than the two of them - it's rather disgusting.

I won't go into my other kids - but, just so you know, I love and adore them, too. Ted has given me two awesome girls and three other adorable grandchilden.

I know that I have raised awesome and wonderful kids. We have leaned on each other through thick and thin. We have an amazing bond. As they grow older and grow up, I am thoroughly convinced that God gave me an the most wonderful gift when he sent these three to me. I love you.

Comments

  1. NatalieMarch 11, 2011 at 4:15 AM

    This makes my heart hurt cuz I know how you feel. And God forbid you call your "young man" your "little boy". Don't let Rustie see this unless she's very understanding. I still see my babies as babies, butI don't dare say that out loud.
    Your the best!!

    ReplyDelete
  2. CocoMarch 11, 2011 at 4:47 AM

    Rustie is pretty dang good with me. She likes to give me some crap and says she is stealing my boy. But, I know she is gonna share with me. She is pretty awesome, too.

    ReplyDelete
  3. UnknownMarch 11, 2011 at 3:35 PM

    Everything will be okay your kids are still your kids and they will produce more kids which is always a good thing for a awesome grandma like you!!! Breathe....

    ReplyDelete
  4. BerlyCrowMarch 12, 2011 at 5:26 AM

    I know the feeling! I felt the same way when Riley got married...not Jared for some reason, LOL, but definitely Riley. Turns out, life really hasn't changed much after a couple years of him being married...in case that gives you any hope for the future. :-)

    ReplyDelete

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