Skip to main content

AARRGGHH!!

OK - My mind has been spinning. My life is a whirl. I don't know what side is up or which side is down. I have a lot on my mind. I can't enjoy much right now, because other thoughts start to crowd out any thing fun or funny that start to creep in. I am on the edge.

I want to blame the wedding. And, to be honest, it's about all I think about and I cannot wait for March 14 to get here!! That is the day I go back to work and plan to start a normal life once again.

We hosted a bridal shower last Saturday. I think it turned out quite fun. A lot of people showed up and Rustie got a lot of fun presents and gifts.

I had some sadness that went a long with it, too. I thought a lot about Kara that weekend. I am so sad that she has chosen the life she has and is missing out on a lot of memories that she will never be able to get back. This bridal shower, her brother's wedding. I know that she has some people convinced that it was me that kicked her out of my life, but it was her choice. She took all the steps. No matter how hard I try to get past things and just get through it, she continues to do things to make it hard. I just want to yell - - YOU MADE THIS DECISION, YOU WROTE US OUT OF YOUR LIFE, YOU LIED AND YOU SAID HORRIBLE THINGS - BUT, IT WAS YOU WHO DECIDED TO KICK US OUT OF YOUR LIFE!!! SO LEAVE US ALONE!!! Rant complete!!

I am happy for my son. I am happy for his bride. I want this wedding to be something that dreams are made of. I wish for them nothing but fairy tales and happily ever afters.
Labels:

Comments

  1. CrystalFebruary 22, 2011 at 9:28 PM

    I'm so very sorry. I wish it didn't bother you so much. She broke me, I honestly don't feel anything for her anymore. I don't want her to break you but I really wish you didn't feel badly. If I could fix it for you I would. <3 <3

    Just for you: What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches? A nervous wreck!

    ReplyDelete
  2. CocoFebruary 23, 2011 at 7:59 AM

    That was awesome!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  3. NatalieFebruary 24, 2011 at 5:26 AM

    I am so sorry your sad. Just think, in a few weeks, your gaining a daughter. (and I hope she treats you well).

    ReplyDelete
  4. UnknownFebruary 25, 2011 at 10:15 AM

    Sadly there are those that choose to use and abuse as apose to live, laugh, love and cherish those who love them back. Your the best work mom a little ol me could have leener. We love you!!!

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

CoCo's Journey - Mortality Reality

This week has been one for the books.  There has been some good things, not so good things and more.  I will explain. Last Saturday, my daughter and I drove to Idaho Falls.  We went to visit my bonus daughter and her family.  I wasn't feeling great.  But I wasn't feeling horrible.  By the time I got home, I had a lot of swelling.  I have been dealing with that for a few months.  I had started to see a specialist about my liver and my pancreas.  I had recently started a medication, it is a very pricey medication, but it's supposed to help me break down calories and nutrients so that my body absorbs them.  Even though I eat, my body was just shedding the nutrients and food I was eating and making it so I was not gaining weight.  I was 95 pounds.  And nothing I did would gain weight.  But I've gained 20 pounds over the last few months.  My clothes were uncomfortable.  But, I don't know if it's just the water retenti...
6 comments
Read more

CoCo's Journey - TPN Me!!

 I just decided to do another post after spending my first night in my own bed with my new sexy bed partner.  TPN. TPN - Total Parenteral Nutrition.  Calories, vitamins, minerals and all that delivered through an intravenous line. PICC line -  A little stronger and more durable than a regular IV line.  It's inserted, via ultrasound, into a vein.  Mine is in my upper right arm.   IV Pump - an electrical system that pumps the IV fluid from my bag into my veins.   In essence, I have an IV bag, when first attached to my PICC line, it probably weighs 15 to 20 pounds.  It is kept in a backpack, so I can be mobile.  I have the pump plugged in, to keep it charged, when I'm not mobile and trying to get my home back in order after being gone for five days in the hospital. Me and my sexy new bed partner.  I know, I'm gorgeous.  Skinnier than a prepubescent 12-year-old boy and a mess.  Don't judge.  I'm working on it!! ...
1 comment
Read more

CoCo's Journey - How Did I Get Here??

Malabsorption - definition - Malabsorption is a state arising from abnormality of food nutrients across the gastrointestinal tract.  Impairment can be single or multiple nutrients depending on the abnormality.  This may lead to malnutrition and a variety of anaemias (blood disorders). I have heard the term before.  But the first time I had heard it in response to me was a little over a week ago.  I was with my roommate daughter at her appointment and her doctor pointed to IVY and said, what's up with that??  So I told him.  And he said, people have no idea how hard it is when you have malabsorption.  People think you can just eat to make it better, but you can't. So let's go to the beginning.... If you have known me at all in the last few decades, you know that I was "morbidly obese".  I topped out at 245 pounds.  I had Type 2 Diabetes, high blood pressure, thyroid disease and stomach issues (gerd) for the last couple of decades and had taken...
12 comments
Read more