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AARRGGHH!!

OK - My mind has been spinning. My life is a whirl. I don't know what side is up or which side is down. I have a lot on my mind. I can't enjoy much right now, because other thoughts start to crowd out any thing fun or funny that start to creep in. I am on the edge.

I want to blame the wedding. And, to be honest, it's about all I think about and I cannot wait for March 14 to get here!! That is the day I go back to work and plan to start a normal life once again.

We hosted a bridal shower last Saturday. I think it turned out quite fun. A lot of people showed up and Rustie got a lot of fun presents and gifts.

I had some sadness that went a long with it, too. I thought a lot about Kara that weekend. I am so sad that she has chosen the life she has and is missing out on a lot of memories that she will never be able to get back. This bridal shower, her brother's wedding. I know that she has some people convinced that it was me that kicked her out of my life, but it was her choice. She took all the steps. No matter how hard I try to get past things and just get through it, she continues to do things to make it hard. I just want to yell - - YOU MADE THIS DECISION, YOU WROTE US OUT OF YOUR LIFE, YOU LIED AND YOU SAID HORRIBLE THINGS - BUT, IT WAS YOU WHO DECIDED TO KICK US OUT OF YOUR LIFE!!! SO LEAVE US ALONE!!! Rant complete!!

I am happy for my son. I am happy for his bride. I want this wedding to be something that dreams are made of. I wish for them nothing but fairy tales and happily ever afters.

Comments

  1. I'm so very sorry. I wish it didn't bother you so much. She broke me, I honestly don't feel anything for her anymore. I don't want her to break you but I really wish you didn't feel badly. If I could fix it for you I would. <3 <3

    Just for you: What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches? A nervous wreck!

    ReplyDelete
  2. I am so sorry your sad. Just think, in a few weeks, your gaining a daughter. (and I hope she treats you well).

    ReplyDelete
  3. Sadly there are those that choose to use and abuse as apose to live, laugh, love and cherish those who love them back. Your the best work mom a little ol me could have leener. We love you!!!

    ReplyDelete

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