CoCo's Journey - Pre-surgery thoughts

I've been hanging out in my house for the most part.  Hiding from germs.  Hiding from phlegm.  Hiding from coughs.  Hiding from sneezes.  Hiding from snot. Trying to stay healthy until surgery day.  Not that I can hide very well.  Roommate daughter is literally coughing a lung up.  So, she can only hang out with me if she is wearing a mask.  I am bathing in hand sanitizer when I remember.  I'm taking elderberry gummies with a bunch of zinc and vitamin C in order to boost my immunities.  

Poor Roommate.

Not that I would know much if I did have a cold.  My nose has been running constantly since the day Jeff was pushed up my nostril.  I have a constant sore throat, due to the tube rubbing in the back of my throat.  The worst part is when I'm laying down and roll onto my left side.  It starts to move around and I feel like I'm choking.  It doesn't do it every time, but most of the time.  And I don't always think about it until I'm trying to catch my breath from the panic it causes. 

The reason I got so worried, my daughter-in-love was supposed to have surgery last Tuesday.  She was all checked in and ready to go.  The anesthesiologist came in and looked her over and said - nope, go home.  You have a swollen gland and a red throat.  Ding!!!!   I was planning to have my grandladies spend the weekend with me - they were coming because of their mama's surgery.  Even though the surgery was canceled, I was still going to get them to spend the weekend.  Then one went home from school with a cold.  Then another one developed a cold.  We will be rescheduling, while I hermit myself in my cave called home.

But, beyond that, I am very grateful to Jeff and Chef Camilla.  I feel so much better.  I told my doctor Tuesday, that I honestly have felt well enough that I could have worked.  But, since I'm having surgery, probably not a good idea until that is done.  I have gained some weight.  I no longer have legs swollen the size of tree trunks.  My arms are pretty much back to normal.  And if I get a bruise or mark, it heals and goes away within a week - where before it would take months to heal.  

Down sides???  Well, it took me some time to figure this out.  With liver disease, comes itching a lot of time.  I've been itching so much, to the point I was almost in tears at times.  Night sweats.  Insomnia - I'm taking so much sleepy drugs to get sleep, I can't even tell you.  The thing is, I noticed all of this started after Chef Camilla began her gourmet meals that this all started.  I realized after a while, that it was when I was hooked to IVY that I started having these same issues.  My doctor and I feel that there is something in the formula that sets me on edge.  Maybe one of the vitamins.  One of the ingredients.  Whatever it is, it is has made me so very excited to get rid of Jeff and Camilla that I can't even express it in terms that would be understood.  One of the very BIGGEST reasons I can't handle the idea that I may catch a germ.  Because I may get stuck with him for longer!!!! 

Don't mind my hermit selfie.  I barely
combed my hair.  I now have a perma-line on my face
where Jeff used to sit.  And my eyebrows have
not been waxed in six months.

Surgery is Tuesday.  Pre-surgery prep begins Monday.  It includes no food after 2:00.  But drink clear liquids as much as you like after that.  Up until two hours before surgery.  I have to drink the icky stuff to make myself poop at 3:00.  So, throw some love out into the universe that this bit of a stuffy head clears up and nothing gets worse.  I am so terrified of this getting delayed.  First, it means a delay in me getting back to real life, which means work and that.  Second, it means I would have to wait until after the first of the year and that means new deductible and out of pocket - both of which have been met this year.  Third, we've already adjusted Christmas to after Christmas.  Fourth - I am so done with Jeff.  So - things would be so much better if I could just get this done and over with.  

I had written most of this - up until this point - last night.  I now have a little update on Jeff, Chef Camilla and myself.  Last night, Jeff decided to clog up.  He was running great for over two hours, then suddenly I got the weird beep and the yellow light.  He was clogged.  We did all the things we were supposed to do to unclog him, but he was stubborn and stayed all stuffed up.  I have no reason why he would do that suddenly, but it was very Deja Vu of the first time.  So, I decided it was time to break up with him and Chef Camilla today.  Let me tell you - pulling a tube from your gut, through your throat, all the way to your nostril/nose that has been there for over two months versus removing one that had been there for just a few days is very different.  And it's really disgusting.  It was slimy, it had grossness all up and down it - I don't know what it was and I probably don't want to know.  So Jeff, Camilla and I are done.  Hopefully for good.  

I've been so very blessed with love and good tidings.  I've received an amazing sloth from one cousin.  It's filled with beans, and so soft.  He is filled with beans so you can warm him up for a nice warm hug.  And another cousin sent me flowers.  I was leaving the house and saw this pretty large box on the porch, instantly thought to myself, "what the hell did KayeLynn order now??"  BUT, it was for me and it was lovely.  Both of these ladies have been so very supportive and giving me extra love through my journey and they'll never know exactly how much I appreciate them!!

And a final thought!!!  As I've said, I have been hermited, leaving my house only if absolutely necessary for the last few days.  I start out my day watching Hell's Kitchen.  Trying to binge it.  I've already binged Next Level Chef and Master Chef.  I've become rather enamored with Gordon Ramsey.   When I decide I need to get up off the couch, I turn the remote over to Roommate Daughter.  She has turned on this nightmare dating show.  You know, boy meets girl, girl agrees to date, boy or other factors traumatize and try to kill girl.  I'm so traumatized by this show.  I know I've already stated I'm not interested in dating.  But, now I wouldn't do it if I absolutely had to.  That shizz out there is scary.  I'm happy in my hermit life.

Now another selfie.  I do appreciate that Jeff and Camilla have helped me bulk up a bit.  By the power of Gray Skull!!!!!!