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The Effing Birthday Burger Story

 


I kind of referred to Ted and my "effing burger" saga that turned into a full-on tradition for us on a Facebook/Instagram post.  I added that if anyone wanted to hear the story, let me know, because I love this story.  A couple of people said they wanted to hear it - so I'm sharing.

It was my 50th birthday.  It was a pretty significant birthday.  Now, in all honesty, a couple of people had gone against my express wishes and planned a whole surprise birthday party with family, friends and all sorts of people.  The funny thing was the person who was behind the whole thing had planned one for her mother a couple of months before.  She told me the story, and I said, I would kick your ass.  I'd be so mad!!!  Yeah, she took it as a challenge.  I had planned out a day of dinner out and the Muppet Movie at the dollar theater and I was excited to spend that time with my family.  When Ted started driving the wrong direction, I knew there were shenanigans afoot.  I yelled at him to let me out of the car.  I posted on Facebook that someone was in REAL trouble!!!  I had the greatest time.  I loved every second of it.  And I was grateful.  

So - bounce forward to my birthday.  I was kind of depressed, because I was turning fifty and all.  It was such a milestone of old agedness.  So when we were getting ready to go to work, Ted came and told me Happy Birthday and that we would go out and get a burger or something for dinner for my birthday.  I gave a ho-hum response and was a little sad that for my birthday, he was just going to take me out for a stupid burger. 

Fast forward to the evening.  I'm sitting on the couch, and I kind of dressed up a bit to go get my birthday dinner.  Now, if you don't know, Ted was a shopper.  He loved to go find the big deals.  He went to NPS, a discount store here, every couple of days.  Every Saturday, he would get up and go to all the Deseret Industries in the area - and sometimes outside the area.  Looking for anything that was a "good deal".  And he wouldn't just buy one, there were always multiples.  You have no idea how many things I have taken back to the Deseret Industries for them to sell again.  Plus "good deals" for them to sell.  So much stuff.  And I've been working for six years, still, to make it through all of the stuff.

Anyway, back to the story.  Ted had been to NPS and found a Ninja blender.  I hear him running around and putting it all together.  Next thing I hear was the sound of chomping ice.  He excitedly runs in and shows me that he made snow, then runs back in the kitchen.  He's so excited.  I'm so shocked that I haven't even got a kiss or a real acknowledgement. 

The infamous Ninja

He was so excited, and he disappeared into the kitchen again and kept experimenting with different things in his amazing blender.  At about fifteen minutes into this, the tears just started falling down my face.  I was literally sitting there silently sobbing.  At about the twenty minute mark, Ted walked in to show me something cool and he sees me sitting on the couch, tears rolling and suddenly very aware that I was upset.  He comes and sits next to me, so concerned, and he grabs my hand.  He has the biggest eyes and so much concern in his voice and eyes as he says, "Honey, what is going on?  What is the matter?  Did something happen??" I am just crying and say to him, "It's my 50th birthday, I thought I would at least get an effing burger".  Now, I didn't say effing.  But, because my sister will read this, and others who may be offended, I've always called it an effing burger or an effing birthday burger.  I full on F-bombed it.  His face was stunned. 

He realized that he had messed up.  He was like, let's go.  I'm so sorry.  I didn't think.  All the things you say when you realize you have screwed up a bit.  Now, the funny thing is, I can't even remember if we actually did go out for burgers that night.  But, from that moment on, every celebratory dinner for birthdays or anniversaries was an effing birthday burger.  Birthdays were the choice of the birthday person.  Anniversaries were a joint decision.  My very first birthday after Ted died, I invited my kids over and barbecued burgers for an effing birthday burger.  On Ted's first heavenly birthday, the roommate daughter and I went out for burgers.  The tradition continues. 

I know people think you should get over things like a loved one's death, but grief is so personal.  Ted was my person.  I miss him every day and I love when I get a little sign he's still around.  

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