When You Are Ready to Quit

The last couple of weeks have been somewhat frustrating in my journey. Usually when I get to this point, I quit and decide I'm just a failure anyway, so why even try anymore.

Just two days ago, I was showing that I had gained probably three pounds. I knew some of it was going to be water retention. But, I was so frustrated to watch that scale go up and then up again and it wasn't stopping. I made bad choices out of frustration. On Saturday, we ate out for every meal - because we were not at home. On Sunday, we went on a drive and we ate out for a meal - I tried to make good choices, soup and salad. Then on Monday, we had a barbecue for Independence Day. We had good food here and I tried not to overdo; barbecue chicken, potatoes and salad - even dessert was angel food cake and fresh berries. The scale was telling me things I didn't want to see.

Last night, Ted and I went to a movie (we saw Central Intelligence - it was pretty funny). Before we went, I told him I was just going to just eat nachos there or popcorn. Because I was going to have to just start over the next day. I was just going to "let loose" at the movies. I told him I knew I had gained and that I was at the point where I would normally quit because I was frustrated. I told him I didn't want to quit and he told me he didn't want me to. It was the reinforcement I needed to make sure that I got up today to go to my meeting.

Then last night - the water works started. Not the crying kind - the peeing kind. I was up about three different times and not just a drizzle!!! I was peeing like someone who hadn't gone all day long. The water release was crazy. When I weighed myself this morning - holy cow!!! I was back down where I had been before the weight started adding on every day!! I was so excited!! I couldn't believe I had that much water retention!!!

I weighed myself a bunch of times to make sure I wasn't dreaming. I put on this little itty bitty dress I had bought when I went to Mexico a few years ago. I wanted to make sure I was wearing the least amount of weight to weigh in - because I wanted a loss so badly!!! I was so excited to see that second number change, The second number in my weight has now changed twice!! I couldn't believe it. I was down 2.8 pounds all together!! I was shocked. I was scared to death I was going to quit and I lost almost three pounds!!!

I can do this. I've lost over fifteen pounds at this point. I'm almost to my 10%. I have almost met my goal of ten more pounds by the end of summer. I am making good choices. I am doing the healthy choices. I can do this!!! For me!!!

Comments

CoCo's Journey - How Did I Get Here??

Malabsorption - definition - Malabsorption is a state arising from abnormality of food nutrients across the gastrointestinal tract. Impairment can be single or multiple nutrients depending on the abnormality. This may lead to malnutrition and a variety of anaemias (blood disorders). I have heard the term before. But the first time I had heard it in response to me was a little over a week ago. I was with my roommate daughter at her appointment and her doctor pointed to IVY and said, what's up with that?? So I told him. And he said, people have no idea how hard it is when you have malabsorption. People think you can just eat to make it better, but you can't. So let's go to the beginning.... If you have known me at all in the last few decades, you know that I was "morbidly obese". I topped out at 245 pounds. I had Type 2 Diabetes, high blood pressure, thyroid disease and stomach issues (gerd) for the last couple of decades and had taken...

CoCo's Journey - Answers!! Finally!!!

Today I finally got answers!!! I do not have Cirrhosis!!! I am Pre-Cirrhotic. Very close to that precipice but still not falling over the edge and falling into a place that I cannot get out of. I had seen my gastric bypass doctor a while ago - and was given the wrong information. I think he was looking at the headline and had not read the story. It's something I'm good at, too. My doctor explained that when I was overweight, the fat in my body was damaging my liver. Then I had gastric bypass and that should have helped my fatty liver. But, then I wasn't able to absorb the calories, so I became malnourished. My liver was not getting the proteins I needed in order to supply my body with the proper nourishment. Every organ you have needs protein, and it starts in the liver. So - the malnourishment started to affect my liver. Leading to the state I'm in now. The thing I need to work on is getting off the diu...

CoCo's Journey - An update -- of sorts

I was asked for an update. So - I waited until my last appointment with my liver doctor to see what he was going to say. What we were going to do. What the hell is going on. So - a little recap. Mid August I was admitted to the hospital due to liver disease. The initial diagnosis was cirrhosis of the liver due to malnutrition, which was caused by malabsorption. After a biopsy, that diagnosis was changed to pre-cirrhosis. I had over two liters of fluid removed from my belly by needle aspiration the first day. I left the hospital five days later with a PICC line with IV nutrition. IV nutrition supplemented my regular diet for four months. My PICC line was removed in December and now it's a matter of how my body adjusts as to what the steps are. Since August and having the IV nutrition, I gained over 40 pounds. I was a little over 140 pounds when they disconnected IVY (my PICC line/nutrition/bag - that's her name...

CoCo's Corner

Search This Blog