Skip to main content

The Art of the Fart - Oh My!!!

OK - I know that is a pretty disturbing title.  But, oh my GOSH!!!!  I am bloated!!!!  Honestly, with as much hot air that has been leaving me, I don't know why I don't have a string attached to my feet and I'm floating along instead of walking.  Honestly, what the heck?!??!??!

I don't know what is causing it - but I'm truly a fart machine.  Now, honestly, I know it's the diet.  I know it's what I'm eating.  But, I'm not really sure what the culprit is.

My food intake is a lot of veggies and fruits.  Fruits have become my passion.  And I'm eating a lot of them.   And to make it worse, my favorite has been cherries.  I have been eating them like they are candy.  And since it's the last part of the cherry crop, I've been buying them a lot.  Like a bag a day or every other day.  I was doing this knowing I really wouldn't get any more until next summer.

Now - I've never been a crazy cherry eater.  I liked them ok, but didn't have to have them.  This summer has been a whole different story.  Holy cow!!!  But they have been so delicious.  I haven't even wanted candy or anything really sweet, because I have fruit!!!!

Then you add on the cucumbers.  I have planted a garden for the first time in about twenty years.  I have not had a lot of luck with it so far.  I'm just starting to get tomatoes that don't have bottom rot.  I'm kind of plucking them a little earlier than I should, because if I don't the bottom turns black for some reason. These plants are humongous!!!  But, they don't have a whole lot of fruit on them.  Lots on the bottom, but the blossoms on the top have not been producing.  I have two chili pepper plants - one is the saddest thing ever and the other one is big and producing a few chilies.  Pretty excited to
Veruca knows how I feel
see how those turn out.  Then there are the cucumbers.  One day I just started having fully grown cucumbers and I don't know where they came from.  And they keep coming.  But, they've been soooo bitter.  And I'm forcing myself to eat these bitter, bitter cucumbers - because I grew them!!!  And I'm so happy to have my garden producing something that I refuse not to eat them.  So - I have some homework to do before I winterize it up when it's all done and even more homework before I plant next year.

I don't know what is causing me to feel like a huge balloon of hot air.  And no matter how much I fart, it doesn't fix it.  There is still more air to come out.  But - I do know this.  I'm down 18 pounds.  I feeling better.  Clothes are fitting.  Hopefully, my body will adjust to whatever it is that is causing the bloating and distention in my gut and I can continue eating the yummy food that I'm craving.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Happy Birthday Me!!

I turned 49 a year ago tomorrow.  I was all right with that.  I didn't really care.  But, about a couple of months after that, I realized that in less than a year I would be 50.  When my daughter turned 30, it really was a horrible feeling.  How could I have a 30-year-old daughter??  I am not old enough to have a 30-year-old daughter.  I also had to deal with my baby boy getting married last year - which made me feel like I really was getting older. I think it was after Crystal's birthday that I devised a plan.  I was going to take a couple of days off, I was going to get a hotel room - a hotel with a pool - and I was just going to hide out and ride it out.  I had it all figured out. Well, I decided that my kids might be a bit upset with me that I did this.  So, I went back to Plan B - I would do my usual and plan a "kids" birthday for me so that the entire family, including Zach and Chelsea, could have a good time.  I thought of going to Planet Play and setti

The Haunting

It's been a weird few days. I don't know what set me off. But, I've been thinking about Ted a lot. Mostly, I've been thinking about the night he died. And everything that happened that night. One of the girls I worked with lost her husband suddenly a couple of days ago. I'm not sure if that's what set me off - no, I'm pretty sure it is. So I've been going through old blog posts about our trips together. Looking at memories of our times together. We just had fun together and we just loved each other. Anyway, I've been reliving the night he died. Thinking about it pretty consistently. And the things that happened are truly haunting me. Like, how did he get where he was?? He and I had been sitting together and had literally just had an interaction. The interaction was, please sit back, you're blocking my view of the movie. And it was all done in hand gestures. But it was just so Ted. Completely and totally so Ted. Not even a few

First Date - - End of an Era!

It's no secret that Ted and I met on the internet. We jibbered and jabbered via Match.Com a few times and then he sent me his phone number. We won't go into details about what made me give him a call, other than I was in need of a boost. I gave him a call and he was "busy" for a bit working on his carbuerator (yes, I was shunned aside for a carbuerator) and he asked if he could call me back later. Well, he did call me later that night and we made arrangements to meet at Denny's on 3500 South and 2200 West the next afternoon. No, it wasn't a four-star restaurant, but it was a way for either of us to run or make excuses if things were not going well. We sat there for a few hours; I drank Diet Coke and Ted drank Iced Tea. We talked, mostly Ted talked, about stuff I had absolutely no clue about; I tease him a lot about everything he says pretty much floats above my head, because I have no idea what he is talking about. That was October 10, 2004. After a w