The Art of the Fart

The Art of the Fart - Oh My!!!

OK - I know that is a pretty disturbing title. But, oh my GOSH!!!! I am bloated!!!! Honestly, with as much hot air that has been leaving me, I don't know why I don't have a string attached to my feet and I'm floating along instead of walking. Honestly, what the heck?!??!??!

I don't know what is causing it - but I'm truly a fart machine. Now, honestly, I know it's the diet. I know it's what I'm eating. But, I'm not really sure what the culprit is.

My food intake is a lot of veggies and fruits. Fruits have become my passion. And I'm eating a lot of them. And to make it worse, my favorite has been cherries. I have been eating them like they are candy. And since it's the last part of the cherry crop, I've been buying them a lot. Like a bag a day or every other day. I was doing this knowing I really wouldn't get any more until next summer.

Now - I've never been a crazy cherry eater. I liked them ok, but didn't have to have them. This summer has been a whole different story. Holy cow!!! But they have been so delicious. I haven't even wanted candy or anything really sweet, because I have fruit!!!!

Then you add on the cucumbers. I have planted a garden for the first time in about twenty years. I have not had a lot of luck with it so far. I'm just starting to get tomatoes that don't have bottom rot. I'm kind of plucking them a little earlier than I should, because if I don't the bottom turns black for some reason. These plants are humongous!!! But, they don't have a whole lot of fruit on them. Lots on the bottom, but the blossoms on the top have not been producing. I have two chili pepper plants - one is the saddest thing ever and the other one is big and producing a few chilies. Pretty excited to

Veruca knows how I feel

see how those turn out. Then there are the cucumbers. One day I just started having fully grown cucumbers and I don't know where they came from. And they keep coming. But, they've been soooo bitter. And I'm forcing myself to eat these bitter, bitter cucumbers - because I grew them!!! And I'm so happy to have my garden producing something that I refuse not to eat them. So - I have some homework to do before I winterize it up when it's all done and even more homework before I plant next year.

I don't know what is causing me to feel like a huge balloon of hot air. And no matter how much I fart, it doesn't fix it. There is still more air to come out. But - I do know this. I'm down 18 pounds. I feeling better. Clothes are fitting. Hopefully, my body will adjust to whatever it is that is causing the bloating and distention in my gut and I can continue eating the yummy food that I'm craving.

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