Ted and I traveled to Joplin, Missouri this last weekend. The visit was double fold, as we were going to see his family, but also to say goodbye to his brother-in-law Bill who was dying and not expected to live very long. I had only met with Bill probably four times in the time I had been married to Ted. He had been a career military man. He exuded that quiet strength and because of that, he reminded me a lot of my father. I never knew him to be anything but kind. After visiting with Ted's sister Mary for a couple of hours, we left to have dinner with the rest of the family - leaving Mary there with her extended family of Bill's children and grandchildren. He passed away about an hour after we left. He had been in a lot of pain and I'm sure it was a relief for him and his family to see him not suffer any longer.
This weekend with Ted and his family, memories of Bill and such, caused me to reflect on my meeting his family. Ted is the oldest son and second born. Mary is older than him. He has one other sister, Susan and three brothers, Mike, Chris and Patrick. They are spread about the country - all over. The last time they were all together was when their father passed away three years ago - before that, it had been a couple of decades.
The first sibling of his I met was Ted's brother, Mike. Probably the most awkward meeting of all time. Mike lives in the Orlando, Florida area. Ted let Mike know that I was going to be going to Orlando at a conference and for some reason made arrangements for the two of us to meet. Not that I didn't want to meet Mike - I just didn't want to do it on my own. I was a nervous wreck. It hadn't helped that I googled him. Yikes, I wasn't ready for this. Mike is an artist and designer - among many other accomplishments, like West Point graduate. When Disney World had a huge birthday, Mike designed the castle to become a huge birthday cake. Yeah - he's that impressive. So - when I met Mike, I was so intimidated and freaked out, I dragged all of the people I was with on this trip with me. So, we didn't have a one-on-one meeting, I dragged three women along with me and he was stuck with all of us. Lunch for five please!! He was very gracious and kind, showed us his designs and that was that. He teased me at his wedding about dragging all my friends along.
The next one I met was Patrick. Patrick, his wife Marian and their three kids - all of which were pre-teen, early teens, were on vacation driving through Colorado from their home in Arkansas and were stopping by to visit with Ted and Pat's parents. So, Ted and I made the trip to Colorado to catch up with them. This was probably the easiest of the meetings, because Ted was there and it was in a comfortable zone - somewhere I had been before. Marian and I got along really well. Pat and Ted, well, those two were like these Siamese twins that share the same brain. They are still like that. I sat and listened to them with their mother the other day and was amazed at how the two of them feed off each other with puns and pranks.
A few months after that, I met Susan. Ted's brother Mike was getting married and Susan was going to be at the wedding with her son Matt. She had recently lost her husband suddenly and Matt was about to go to college. They traveled from Missouri to Florida to attend the wedding. Now, let me preface this by saying that Ted and I flew to Alabama and picked up his daughter, son-in-law and infant granddaughter. We were all driving, fourteen hours each way, to and from Alabama to Orlando, Florida. This was the VERY FIRST TIME I had met my stepdaughter. Because she lived on the other side of the country, we had not been able to go visit and be introduced. Lots of first time meetings!! Susan and I both don't find Ted all that hilarious at times. That's our prerogative as wife and sister. We're sitting in this very lovely wedding ceremony and during the exchange of rings, Ted says something completely stupid. Now, Ted would never hurt anyone's feelings intentionally - but, he also doesn't know how loud his booming voice can be. Susan, who I had just met maybe two hours before, flipped around and looked at him and then looked at me. I didn't blame her for being aghast, but I also wasn't sure what I could do about it - other than slap him and tell him to shush. The bride was very good-natured about it and said when introduced, "you must be Ted". We've come a long way since that first day together. I adore Susan. Ted and I have had many discussions about his tone and sometimes insensitive remarks. He is usually completely embarrassed about things after I tell him what he did and he's come a long way. But, sometimes, it's just hard to contain a bull in a china shop.
That left Mary and Chris. I didn't meet them until the Conrad patriarch passed away. They both came in for the funeral. I met Mary as we were changing the guard. Ted and I had arrived in Colorado the day after their father died and we headed home for a couple of days on the 4th of July. Mary and Bill arrived about thirty minutes before we were leaving. Mary is very much the older sister - the strong and in-control nurturer. She is the one you want on your team when you need to accomplish something. She is quite little, but you know she will take care of everything. She and Bill made a great team - they traveled the country doing square dancing calling. She is very interesting and I hope that I can spend more time with her the next time we get together.
Chris is still an enigma to me. Though I spent a little time with him when their father passed away, I still don't know much about him. I look forward to making Ted take me to Pennsylvania to see that area and maybe spending some time with Chris to get to know him.
I'm so lucky to be in a family that has such a crazy connection. Their distances are far - but, they grew up with each other and were so close growing up. These kids were born about a year apart from each other, six kids under seven - what a crazy handful!! I'm sure it wasn't always easy to have Ted as a big brother - in Mary's case it was size, not age. Though I have truly only spent hours with each of them, I hope they all know that I love him dearly, and because of that love for him and the stories he tells, I love them, too.
This weekend with Ted and his family, memories of Bill and such, caused me to reflect on my meeting his family. Ted is the oldest son and second born. Mary is older than him. He has one other sister, Susan and three brothers, Mike, Chris and Patrick. They are spread about the country - all over. The last time they were all together was when their father passed away three years ago - before that, it had been a couple of decades.
The first sibling of his I met was Ted's brother, Mike. Probably the most awkward meeting of all time. Mike lives in the Orlando, Florida area. Ted let Mike know that I was going to be going to Orlando at a conference and for some reason made arrangements for the two of us to meet. Not that I didn't want to meet Mike - I just didn't want to do it on my own. I was a nervous wreck. It hadn't helped that I googled him. Yikes, I wasn't ready for this. Mike is an artist and designer - among many other accomplishments, like West Point graduate. When Disney World had a huge birthday, Mike designed the castle to become a huge birthday cake. Yeah - he's that impressive. So - when I met Mike, I was so intimidated and freaked out, I dragged all of the people I was with on this trip with me. So, we didn't have a one-on-one meeting, I dragged three women along with me and he was stuck with all of us. Lunch for five please!! He was very gracious and kind, showed us his designs and that was that. He teased me at his wedding about dragging all my friends along.
The next one I met was Patrick. Patrick, his wife Marian and their three kids - all of which were pre-teen, early teens, were on vacation driving through Colorado from their home in Arkansas and were stopping by to visit with Ted and Pat's parents. So, Ted and I made the trip to Colorado to catch up with them. This was probably the easiest of the meetings, because Ted was there and it was in a comfortable zone - somewhere I had been before. Marian and I got along really well. Pat and Ted, well, those two were like these Siamese twins that share the same brain. They are still like that. I sat and listened to them with their mother the other day and was amazed at how the two of them feed off each other with puns and pranks.
A few months after that, I met Susan. Ted's brother Mike was getting married and Susan was going to be at the wedding with her son Matt. She had recently lost her husband suddenly and Matt was about to go to college. They traveled from Missouri to Florida to attend the wedding. Now, let me preface this by saying that Ted and I flew to Alabama and picked up his daughter, son-in-law and infant granddaughter. We were all driving, fourteen hours each way, to and from Alabama to Orlando, Florida. This was the VERY FIRST TIME I had met my stepdaughter. Because she lived on the other side of the country, we had not been able to go visit and be introduced. Lots of first time meetings!! Susan and I both don't find Ted all that hilarious at times. That's our prerogative as wife and sister. We're sitting in this very lovely wedding ceremony and during the exchange of rings, Ted says something completely stupid. Now, Ted would never hurt anyone's feelings intentionally - but, he also doesn't know how loud his booming voice can be. Susan, who I had just met maybe two hours before, flipped around and looked at him and then looked at me. I didn't blame her for being aghast, but I also wasn't sure what I could do about it - other than slap him and tell him to shush. The bride was very good-natured about it and said when introduced, "you must be Ted". We've come a long way since that first day together. I adore Susan. Ted and I have had many discussions about his tone and sometimes insensitive remarks. He is usually completely embarrassed about things after I tell him what he did and he's come a long way. But, sometimes, it's just hard to contain a bull in a china shop.
That left Mary and Chris. I didn't meet them until the Conrad patriarch passed away. They both came in for the funeral. I met Mary as we were changing the guard. Ted and I had arrived in Colorado the day after their father died and we headed home for a couple of days on the 4th of July. Mary and Bill arrived about thirty minutes before we were leaving. Mary is very much the older sister - the strong and in-control nurturer. She is the one you want on your team when you need to accomplish something. She is quite little, but you know she will take care of everything. She and Bill made a great team - they traveled the country doing square dancing calling. She is very interesting and I hope that I can spend more time with her the next time we get together.
Chris is still an enigma to me. Though I spent a little time with him when their father passed away, I still don't know much about him. I look forward to making Ted take me to Pennsylvania to see that area and maybe spending some time with Chris to get to know him.
I'm so lucky to be in a family that has such a crazy connection. Their distances are far - but, they grew up with each other and were so close growing up. These kids were born about a year apart from each other, six kids under seven - what a crazy handful!! I'm sure it wasn't always easy to have Ted as a big brother - in Mary's case it was size, not age. Though I have truly only spent hours with each of them, I hope they all know that I love him dearly, and because of that love for him and the stories he tells, I love them, too.
Sorry to hear of the loss in your family. Hope that they can find comfort.
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