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The Epiphany

I'm retired.  I'm happily retired.  It's what I wanted.  It was time for me to move on.  I had planned to stay at least two and a half years more, but, that didn't work so well.  I moved on.

However, when I turned in my two weeks notice, I was summarily dismissed to not return after the upcoming Friday - or leave before that.  I know it's common in business, but, I was sent into a shock zone.  I was thrown for a loop.  After the shock wore off, I became angry.  Extremely angry.  I lost a friend with whom I have adored and thought of as one of my kids through it - and that makes me sad.  I've come to terms with it, though.

Early yesterday, I had an epiphany.  I realized that being angry was not going to get me anywhere.  It was time to move on.  I needed to get past the anger if I ever was going to enjoy myself.  I started to realize some of the things that have happened in the last couple of weeks:

  • I've reconnected with a lot of old friends
  • I've gone out to lunch a couple of times with friends
  • Ted took me to Wendover for an overnighter, to get away (lost lots of dollars)
  • I took my mom to Wendover for the day (lost less dollars)
  • I've started a project of painting my small bathroom.  I'm very excited over the beginning of it - it will be Paris themed and so pretty
  • I was conditionally offered a job - but, there are lots of hoops to jump through to get to the "real" offer
  • Hanging with a 6-year-old princess while her mama went to school - and watching her play with the her one
    front tooth and making it wiggle (she lost that one a couple days later - love that toothless face).
  • I've spent a couple of days just snuggling the sweetest eight month old baby so her mama could catch a nap
  • I've been planning Ted and my road trip that commences in a week
  • I have just plain relaxed
There were lots of reasons to be just plain happy and not dwell anymore.

The anger was  necessary.  It's like grief, there are five steps.  I'd been through denial several weeks ago when I made the decision to retire.  Then the depression hit, it's hard to think about giving up.  I'd been bargaining with myself to decide if I really was ready for this.  When I was "released" after tendering my resignation, that's when I got angry.  Really angry.  Yesterday, with the epiphany, came acceptance.  With acceptance, came the pursuit of happiness.  I'm moving on, I'm moving forward, I'm moving toward happiness.
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