Yesterday, was pretty much a normal day around my house. Other than taking a little time to decorate a couple of graves, I just did what I usually do. I did take a little time to reflect on something a couple of time - something that makes me sad - something that breaks my heart.
It was someone's birthday yesterday. Someone that until a few years ago had been in my life since before her very first birthday. I remember spending her first birthday with her - it was a couple of months before her dad and I got married. She had every advantage a kid could have coming from a home that broke. More than the girl that was her older sister. She always got two of everything; two birthdays, two Christmas's. She was adored by both of her parents. Two different stepparents that wanted to be in her life. She went through normal phases - when she didn't like her dad, when she didn't like her mom. Rebellion - a huge amount of rebellion.
But, for some reason, there was something else. Something in her that caused her to lie pathologically. Hurtful, hateful lies. Not little white lies, but HUGE and horrible lies. You literally didn't know what to believe when she told you something. It was very difficult to deal with and unfortunately we usually chose to say, "oh, that's just how she is". She would "run away" with a new group, with a new crowd and we would always welcome her back with trepidation with wariness - but, there was usually a huge elephant in the room whenever she was around. That older sister that ALWAYS wanted to give the benefit of the doubt, that always wanted to give the second chance was usually the catalyst of letting her back into our lives; the one that would go pick her up every morning to take her to work, even though she was huge pregnant and miserable, the one that would give her a place to stay when she needed one for a night or two.
Unfortunately, this last estrangement was probably the straw that broke the camels back. It was the final straw. Each one of her sisters and her brother chose that they were done. I knew that it was a hard decision for them - it was a hard decision for me, too. It's not easy to cut someone from your life - especially when they are one of your kids. When you do it, it has to be because the harm that person causes in your life outshines any possibility of them being in your life. I can't have someone that tells such grievous lies about people to actually have that kind of contact with my grandchildren - who knows what they would be told?
I do hope that she is doing well in her new life. I hope she is happy. I hope she has received some help. I hope she has changed her ways. I hope she had a happy birthday.
It was someone's birthday yesterday. Someone that until a few years ago had been in my life since before her very first birthday. I remember spending her first birthday with her - it was a couple of months before her dad and I got married. She had every advantage a kid could have coming from a home that broke. More than the girl that was her older sister. She always got two of everything; two birthdays, two Christmas's. She was adored by both of her parents. Two different stepparents that wanted to be in her life. She went through normal phases - when she didn't like her dad, when she didn't like her mom. Rebellion - a huge amount of rebellion.
But, for some reason, there was something else. Something in her that caused her to lie pathologically. Hurtful, hateful lies. Not little white lies, but HUGE and horrible lies. You literally didn't know what to believe when she told you something. It was very difficult to deal with and unfortunately we usually chose to say, "oh, that's just how she is". She would "run away" with a new group, with a new crowd and we would always welcome her back with trepidation with wariness - but, there was usually a huge elephant in the room whenever she was around. That older sister that ALWAYS wanted to give the benefit of the doubt, that always wanted to give the second chance was usually the catalyst of letting her back into our lives; the one that would go pick her up every morning to take her to work, even though she was huge pregnant and miserable, the one that would give her a place to stay when she needed one for a night or two.
Unfortunately, this last estrangement was probably the straw that broke the camels back. It was the final straw. Each one of her sisters and her brother chose that they were done. I knew that it was a hard decision for them - it was a hard decision for me, too. It's not easy to cut someone from your life - especially when they are one of your kids. When you do it, it has to be because the harm that person causes in your life outshines any possibility of them being in your life. I can't have someone that tells such grievous lies about people to actually have that kind of contact with my grandchildren - who knows what they would be told?
I do hope that she is doing well in her new life. I hope she is happy. I hope she has received some help. I hope she has changed her ways. I hope she had a happy birthday.
That was a really great post. I'm not sure what to say except I <3 you!
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