This last year has been the hardest one of my life. And I've had a lot of hard years in my lifetime. But this year involved the health of me and I'm being a little selfish about thinking about just me. But it was hard. But, I survived it. And now I'm learning to THRIVE.
A little history. For the last four years, I have been dealing with knee pain. Most of it was in my right knee. For the first couple of years, I would get a cortisone shot and I was good. Usually last for at least a year. Then the cortisone wasn't working anymore. I had the rooster comb injections. They didn't work. So, after that, my doctor told me that I was bone on bone and needed a knee replacement. But for that four years, she kept saying - you're too fat, no surgeon will touch you at your weight. You have got to lose weight. That is always easier said than done. She always made me feel like I was failing at taking care of myself.
For the last two years, I have been working on getting gastric bypass surgery. One, to help me get healthy. Two, so I could get my knee replaced. Because the pain in my knee was not going to allow me to have quality of life. When my daughter and I went to Disneyland (she requires a wheelchair), by the time I was done pushing her that first day - I was almost crippled. The pain in my knee was unbearable, it radiated to my hip and I could barely walk. The next day, I ended up renting power scooters for both of us, because there was no way I could push her another day.
After jumping through all the hoops the insurance company required, I was scheduled for gastric bypass on April 27. A few days prior to that, I met with my new and amazing knee surgeon - and the consensus was that I needed to wait for six months to get my knee replacement. A plan was in place. I was ready to make myself healthy and able to take on the world. Thrive was my new keyword.
On April 27, I had gastric bypass. It went well. I ended up dehydrated a few days before scheduled to be back to work, so I ended up with an extra week off and in the ER getting filled with fluids via IV. I went back to work and was doing well. Trying to figure out how to eat after is crazy, but I was doing what I needed to do.
Then June came. I got Covid. I had never had it before. I had made it the whole time without ever getting it until June 2022. I was great for the first five days that are the concern. I was outside, in my garden and backyard working for those five days. But I hated food. I couldn't stand to eat food. Especially the food I needed to eat - protein. I hated the taste of meat, cheese and beans. I hated the consistency. I couldn't eat. On day six, I was in the grocery store shopping. Next thing I knew, I was completely wiped out. I couldn't walk. I had to sit on the floor. The workers at the store brought me a scooter and I finished shopping. I was off for a month. I finally was able to force myself to drink protein shakes and I was getting stronger. I was back to work.
My knee replacement was scheduled on October 25. It went well. I ended up in the hospital an extra day because of low blood pressure. But I was doing pretty good. I still had the problem of not eating or liking protein. I was living on saltine crackers and other stupid things to get some nutrition. I was feeling somewhat weak - about like I did after covid. It came to a head on November 19. I got myself out of bed and walked into the kitchen to make myself something to eat. I was making a cup of soup. I was getting really weak but I managed to make it through. I had my mug of soup and I was so weak I dropped it and it shattered on the floor. My daughter was yelling at me to go sit down and she would clean it up. When I walked to the living room, I was so weak I completely collapsed. I couldn't get up. I couldn't move. So my daughter called 911 and the ambulance took me to the hospital.
That was the first time I heard the word MALNUTRITION. I spent the next three months working with my doctors trying to figure out how to get my life back. I was so weak, I couldn't do much other than lay in bed or sit on my couch. I would get so weak just walking short distances. I needed scooters in the store. I was told I needed to increase my protein. Easier said than done. I hated protein drinks, they are way too sweet - I still hate them. I didn't like the consistensy of most foods in my mouth. My primary doctor kept pushing peanut butter. My gastric doctor, on December 30, gave me one month to get my protein numbers up or he said we would have to look at options - that included feeding tubes and IV nutrition. I worked really hard to try and like meat, eggs, cheese, beans again. I was eating as much protein as I could get. When I went back on February 14, my protein was exactly the same. But it didn't go down. After a discussion, where I said I would not do a feeding tube, we decided on TPN. Total Parenteral Nutrition. It is fed through an IV. It is full of calories - I was down to 111 pounds and needed calories, vitamins, minerals. The things I needed to get better.
I started out spending 24 hours a day with a bag of fluid pumping into my vein. It was delivered through a PICC line. After about nine days, the time went down to 18 hours. Then finally 12 hours. For the first two to three weeks, nothing changed. I was still weak. By week four to five, I noticed a change. I wasn't perfect, but I didn't feel I needed to stay in bed until noon and then sit on the couch until bed time.I didn't need a scooter at the grocery store. At my checkup, we agreed I was doing much better, but I was still struggling with food. I was still having a hard time getting the protein in. But I was doing much better. I was able to eat beef. I was able to eat dark meat chicken. Beans. Cheese. Sometimes eggs. Still can't stand protein shakes. Started taking my vitamins with milk. We decided to keep the nutrition going another five weeks.
I was able to go back to work on April 6. I had been off for five and a half months. I was terrified I would never get back. I am being conscious of trying to get my protein in. I was able to get the PICC line removed last week. I am feeling better than I have felt in a long time. I now need to gain weight. Not in my adult life has that ever been the case. I had gained 15 pounds. I have lost 5 since I had the PICC line removed. I wasn't surprised by that. I lost 1300 daily calories when that was removed. But hopefully I will stabilize soon and maybe even gain some. I had to chop off my hair, because it was so damaged from the malnutrition - but I think it looks pretty OK!! I have started some old bad habits, but I still don't eat enough right now to worry about it - I'm kind of concentrating on getting some meat on mhy bones. I'm just happy to be feeling a lot better.
So after a year of not working for over seven months, I am finally THRIVING!!!
Here are my before an after pictures.
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