Why Can't There Be One Little Pill???

I know there is a reason that you must do this once you turn fifty.  I know that it's for my own good.  I know there is a reason that, even though the idea of eating something disgustingly oatmeal, fried eggs, waffles, pancakes and show the world that they can't control my life like that, I just shouldn't/can't do that.  I know that the procedure really isn't that bad - - - - - - - - -  it's the prep.

That day I have dreaded.  That day that I have abhorred the thought of.  That day that I just want to die.  That day is here.

Tomorrow I have to have my colonoscopy.  I honestly am sick at the thought of facing this day.  Already, I have sat here and watched Ted make himself breakfast and died a little.  Actually, the part about not eating doesn't bother me so bad.  There is enough little things I can eat that will keep me going.  It's the idea about later.

We live in a world that when I started living in it, black and white television was the norm.  That television was in a big old console with a screen about nineteen inches.  Remote controls were not the norm and there were five stations - two of which were PBS.  Now, I pretty much have a television in every room and that includes one of my bathrooms - yes, I'm married to the geekiest man in the land.  I have a laptop computer, a tablet and a telephone which I can do pretty much everything on that I can do on my computer all within an arms reach.  And I can watch those same shows that I watch on television on my computers.

Technology is everywhere.  The things that you take for granted were not even a glimmer fifty years ago - yes, fifty that magical number.

This is the sign inside my
belly right now

So why in this age of little remote gadgets and advanced medical technologies, can I not take one little pill to do what drinking this horrible concoction will do?  And not only do I have to drink it - I have to drink it six times.  AND - this is after begging and begging for something simple like a pill.  I begged and pleaded for a pill (Barbra Walters told me there was a pill available).  But, I was told they were very expensive (Barbra Walters probably can afford it) and that I would have to take about thirty pills.  This was the best he could come up with - six doses of yuck.  I have to do three tonight and three at 6:00 in the morning.

Why can't there be just one little pill??  A pill that does what you need it to do??

I understand I need to poop my guts out and I don't have a problem with that.  I honestly don't care about any of this - except drinking that nasty crap!!!!!  I don't know if I'll make it through.  Has anyone died from colonoscopy prep??  I may be the first.