CoCo's Journey - Ah, Shit!!!

I am exhausted.  Physically.  Mentally.  Is there anything else??  Because I'm sure that is exhausted, too.

I went to the doctor today.  I knew it was going to be a lot of information.  I had made a list.  I had my notebook.  I printed out all of the information from my emergency room visit on Saturday to take with me.  Blood tests.  CT Scan.  Urine test.  Plus, I brought my CT scan from March, because I noticed on it that I have a small umbilical hernia.  I was ready.  And I knew what I needed to fight for.

I also came armed with gifts.  I love this doctor and his medical assistant so much.  I took them a gift of tortilla chips and homemade salsa.  And I wrote a love note on the bag.  That is how much I appreciate him.  They both loved it.  It even made Hayley get a little weepy, cuz she was having a bad day.

I gave him all of my documents, and he went through the blood tests and such from what he had.  I was trying not to bug him until he got through everything and what was going on.  I told him I felt like I needed nutrition.  He never disagreed with that.  But we did disagree on how I was going to get nutrition.  He was insistent I get a nasal feeding tube.  I absolutely refused that.  I said I would only do the TPN or a G-tube.  A feeding tube that is inserted into the abdomen and the nutrition given through that.   I told him that I had friends and a niece that had to go through that.  And I know that if I have to re-insert it - it wasn't going to happen.  So, I stood strong, and so IVY and I are GETTING BACK TOGETHER!!!!!  This is a different process.  I have to find a nutritionist to get the process started.

Along with that, I will be having Albumin Infusions.  Albumin is defined as:

A protein found in blood plasma that plays a crucial role in maintaining blood volume and pressure.  It is produced in the liver and helps transport hormones, vitamins and nutrients throughout the body.  Normal albumin levels are essential for proper liver and kidney function.  Abnormal levels can indicate health issues, such as liver or kidney disease or dehydration.

So, I need to get Albumin infusions to fix my abnormal levels.  

I will be taking double doses of diuretics for the next week to get the water out of me.  When he did my physical exam, he found that I have fluid in my legs.  Fluid in my belly.  And now also have fluid on my right lung.  The diuretics should address that.  That, along with the order that I use very minimal salt is ordered to get the fluid out of me.  I am going to admit.  I am a salt fiend.  A year ago, I got that order also.  I was trying to be good.  Slowly, but surely, I was increasing it back up.  Tomato and cucumber season are the hardest.  So, if you have any advice as to how to get that addiction under control - I would appreciate it.

We discussed what immunizations I need to get.  He gave me his recommendations.  He wants me to get them in October.

We talked about a gastric bypass reversal again.  He now is wavering a bit.  So, we'll see where that goes.

Here is where I shut down mentally.  If I can't get my health under control and back to a healthy stage, I'll be referred to a Liver Transplant Clinic.  He feels that he won't be able to address my needs as well as they do.  I kind of jokingly asked if I was dying.  He got a little stoic and said, "well, a little bit" and that we needed to "fix it".  So, that sent me on a bit of a downward spiral.

Here is a little bit of a progression to what I have transformed from and to in the last few months.  

Right before I went on short term
disability back in July.  I've
decided that my fall, at work, had
more to do with my weakness that
has been getting worse and worse.

Taken in August when I had my 
Endoscopy done.  Looking 
healthy still, anyway, I think so.

Starting to notice that I look pretty damned
sick and tired.  And weak.  This one taken
a couple of weeks ago.

This was taken today.  Showing you
my "ugliest skeleton in the neighborhood"
ready for the neighborhood holiday
decorating competition.  Also, the purpura
is now on my chest and I think
on my face a little bit

 

I have been off since the end of July, when I went to see him last.   And it's a good thing.  I could focus on getting better.  Which I did not.  And actually now feel worse. Our discussion about work led him to keep me off until the first of 2026.  Not ideal, I know.  But the thing I need to concentrate on is surviving - day by day.   I was sitting in my car and while I was driving home today, I kept seeing beautiful planes with beautiful blue and red widgets flying overhead.  It made me miss the rush and scramble of those flight banks.  The challenge of getting an aircraft out on time, the bags checked, the oversells handled.  I miss it so much.  Hopefully, I can get healthy and back to running up and down jetways and not falling on my face.

At work in June with my rainbows!!!

Sexiest Widget in the land!!!

So hopefully the steps we are taking will do what they need to.  I will do what I need to do,  Even live without any salt.  I just made my beautiful sandwich I eat a lot of.  I usually put a bit of salt and pepper on the lettuce.  Today, just pepper.  Then I soak the bread in red wine vinegar.  And I mean soak.  I know, the picture isn't pretty.  But the flavor, chef's kiss!!  I will continue to fight as long as I have to.  I have too many people counting on me.  

Now - a new selfie!!!!  Of me!!!  On an average day!!!

It's the truth.  Don't care what you say.

So add me to those words and thoughts you send into the universe.  Whether it be to a diety, your god, the fates or whatever and give the universe a little push to fix me up.