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Moving Forward

Today marks one month since I left my old life behind and moved onward to a new one.  As I've posted before, it was not an easy decision - and I honestly kept thinking that I wouldn't be where I am today when I walked away.  I kept thinking I would wake up and the nightmare would be done.  But, that didn't happen.

I spent the first week very angry.  And when I realized that my life was moving in a positive direction and not a negative one - I moved on.

The last month has been a whirlwind.  I started projects, none of which are finished.  I went on an amazing road trip - that had to be cut short.  I started a new job.  That is a pretty full month.

The new job started out pretty shaky at first - well, shaky for about two days. The intimidation of the reality had me a little freaked out.  I am the oldest of the new hires.  That came with perks, too - as being oldest made me first in seniority.  But, for the next three months, I don't have weekends off - I have days off during the week. That doesn't bother me - at all.  I am pretty adaptable to shift work, different hours, so on and so forth.  It's a temporary job and there are no guarantees that after the summer I will be continuing on - but, that isn't important to me.  This whole experience is what is important to me.

The last two days, I have been able to be out and working with customers.  I have been able to be learning - hands on. I have been helping people and doing it with an honest to goodness happy smile.  I have been meeting new co-workers.  I have made a new friend - a couple of them, but one in particular.

Ted and I were having a conversation. I still love the people from my old life.  I love them very much.  Almost daily, I hear from different people who tell me that things are still horrible and getting worse.  I hear from them how they are looking for new employment.  How they wish I was still there, as I was the sanity in the old place, that I understood them and I cared about them - which they don't feel that anyone else does now.  While, deep down that makes me so sad for the friends I left behind, it also validates my feelings.  I miss them all, but I made the right decision.   When Ted and I talked about this, he looked at me and said, "I have never seen you happier than you have been in the last two weeks, I'm glad you walked away".  I guess that says it all.


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