The cruise ship that I was supposed to be on right now is sitting in port. It's got four very important people on it. I have sat and tried to be so strong and so tough about not being able to go. I've watched their progression and got so excited for them. For three days I've paid attention to what is gong on and where they are. Every message that I would get, every Foursquare check-in, every Facebook post - I would update my Mapquest and figure out how much further to wherever they were going that day and then to their final destination.
This morning - I got so excited when I knew they were back on the road - because I knew it was only a matter of moments before they were to their final destination. A short little two-hour jaunt from College Station, Texas to the Galveston Port where the ship awaited their arrival. I encouraged them to be there early, to board early, to be able to play and get to know their surroundings and they got on the ship by about 2:00 Texas time. But, I waited and waited and waited for word. Finally, a buzz on Facebook from Crystal from Brandon's phone - "my phone died, I posted some pics to Brandon's facebook".
It took a couple of minutes for them to finally upload - picture of Zach eating, a picture of Chelsea eating. I am standing in the middle of the grocery store, waiting and waiting and they were finally there. I burst into tears in the middle of the grocery store. I am sure a couple of people thought I was fighting with my husband or just plain crazy - because the waterworks started. The vacation I was supposed to be on, the adventure I was supposed to go on with two of my precious babies was leaving without me. The day I had been so excited for for months was here - and I was standing in the grocery store in my sweats instead of on a cruise ship eating lunch in the warmth. The reality struck like crazy. I got myself together pretty quickly, but, I was still sad. I know it's ok and all I want is for them to have the most fun in the world. I am just sad I am not there to experience it with them.
I get home and Ted has returned home from the gun show. I know he is really not well enough for the trip still. I know he can't stand that my heart is broken. I know that it kills him. I want to keep it together. Unfortunately, the first thing he asks when he sees me is if they had made it to the cruise ship - I say yes and try to get out of the room - I know it's going to start again. I know it's coming. Unfortunately, he knows and asks if I'm ok and I burst into tears again. I just can't help it. I thought I was ok with all of this - and I will get over it - but, I hate that feeling that I am missing something I had planned and waiting for.
I know Crystal is going to read this and be so sad about it - and I am sorry for that. I really don't want her to be sad. The good news is, it won't be until she is back. So - by then the memories will be made, the happy times will be part of lifetime. I hope you guys have an amazing vacation and I sure love you. Hopefully we can plan a next time. LOVE YOU!!!
This morning - I got so excited when I knew they were back on the road - because I knew it was only a matter of moments before they were to their final destination. A short little two-hour jaunt from College Station, Texas to the Galveston Port where the ship awaited their arrival. I encouraged them to be there early, to board early, to be able to play and get to know their surroundings and they got on the ship by about 2:00 Texas time. But, I waited and waited and waited for word. Finally, a buzz on Facebook from Crystal from Brandon's phone - "my phone died, I posted some pics to Brandon's facebook".
It took a couple of minutes for them to finally upload - picture of Zach eating, a picture of Chelsea eating. I am standing in the middle of the grocery store, waiting and waiting and they were finally there. I burst into tears in the middle of the grocery store. I am sure a couple of people thought I was fighting with my husband or just plain crazy - because the waterworks started. The vacation I was supposed to be on, the adventure I was supposed to go on with two of my precious babies was leaving without me. The day I had been so excited for for months was here - and I was standing in the grocery store in my sweats instead of on a cruise ship eating lunch in the warmth. The reality struck like crazy. I got myself together pretty quickly, but, I was still sad. I know it's ok and all I want is for them to have the most fun in the world. I am just sad I am not there to experience it with them.
I get home and Ted has returned home from the gun show. I know he is really not well enough for the trip still. I know he can't stand that my heart is broken. I know that it kills him. I want to keep it together. Unfortunately, the first thing he asks when he sees me is if they had made it to the cruise ship - I say yes and try to get out of the room - I know it's going to start again. I know it's coming. Unfortunately, he knows and asks if I'm ok and I burst into tears again. I just can't help it. I thought I was ok with all of this - and I will get over it - but, I hate that feeling that I am missing something I had planned and waiting for.
I know Crystal is going to read this and be so sad about it - and I am sorry for that. I really don't want her to be sad. The good news is, it won't be until she is back. So - by then the memories will be made, the happy times will be part of lifetime. I hope you guys have an amazing vacation and I sure love you. Hopefully we can plan a next time. LOVE YOU!!!
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