When I got to the hospital today to see Ted, I found him a bit emotional. He told me he had just read the couple of posts I had written about his pneumonia. It was kind of rough to see him react that way - but, he is at the end of this hospital stay and he wants to be done. So, I can see how things would start to get to him. He said to me, "no comments?". I showed him the comments on facebook where I had posted the entries. He got choked up again.
I have often said that I loved being single. I enjoyed the freedom. I enjoyed the independence. I didn't have to answer to anyone - other than telling my kids where I would be. The good thing about being married to Ted is that he, for the most part, allows me to have that independence. He knows that I am a grownup and he knows that I would never do anything that would hurt him. He trusts me and I trust him. We love spending time together - but, he doesn't feel like he has to keep me under his thumb at all times. He allows me the freedom to do what I want to do - and I grant him that same freedom.
When Ted was on the respirator, I realized that I had not heard his voice for three days. That is a very disconcerting feeling. This person that you have pretty much talked to everyday for eight years, is not available to talk. I would feel myself wanting to call him on the phone - just for that mundane talk; how was your day? how are you feeling? what do you want for dinner? I couldn't do that. He couldn't speak to me for three days. I would sit in the same room as him and I would hold his hand, he would squeeze my hand - but, we couldn't have a conversation. It was a rough few days.
As I said, I loved being single. But, when I was single, I was never alone. I always had someone at my house. When George died, I was single for five years - but, I was not alone. At first, I had three kids at home. When Crystal moved out, I still had two. When KayeLynn went to school at Dixie, I still had Rodger there to keep me company - even though he wasn't home much, he was still there. This last week, I have pretty much been alone. When at home, I have been home alone. KayeLynn went back to her apartment last week and I have been home alone. I sit at home, no one to talk to, no one to hang out with, no one there. I have realized - I want my honey to come home. I don't want to be alone anymore.
I have often said that I loved being single. I enjoyed the freedom. I enjoyed the independence. I didn't have to answer to anyone - other than telling my kids where I would be. The good thing about being married to Ted is that he, for the most part, allows me to have that independence. He knows that I am a grownup and he knows that I would never do anything that would hurt him. He trusts me and I trust him. We love spending time together - but, he doesn't feel like he has to keep me under his thumb at all times. He allows me the freedom to do what I want to do - and I grant him that same freedom.
When Ted was on the respirator, I realized that I had not heard his voice for three days. That is a very disconcerting feeling. This person that you have pretty much talked to everyday for eight years, is not available to talk. I would feel myself wanting to call him on the phone - just for that mundane talk; how was your day? how are you feeling? what do you want for dinner? I couldn't do that. He couldn't speak to me for three days. I would sit in the same room as him and I would hold his hand, he would squeeze my hand - but, we couldn't have a conversation. It was a rough few days.
As I said, I loved being single. But, when I was single, I was never alone. I always had someone at my house. When George died, I was single for five years - but, I was not alone. At first, I had three kids at home. When Crystal moved out, I still had two. When KayeLynn went to school at Dixie, I still had Rodger there to keep me company - even though he wasn't home much, he was still there. This last week, I have pretty much been alone. When at home, I have been home alone. KayeLynn went back to her apartment last week and I have been home alone. I sit at home, no one to talk to, no one to hang out with, no one there. I have realized - I want my honey to come home. I don't want to be alone anymore.
On the official record we, the whole damn family & some of the chickens, love you both and your kids and their kids. And we are so grateful to hear how well Ted is recovering. Lot of hugs and stuff.
ReplyDeleteGlad Ted is doing better' Hope he is home soon!
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